I watched two Antique Roadshows last night, appropriate, I know, given my own age. I was antsy. I didn't want to read my book, I had called everyone already, my husband was at his old lab finishing up something. The beauty of it is, no commercials. Thus the dogs and I were able to prevail. As usual, stuff that looked like junk was valuable, gorgeous vases were practically worthless, there was a Confederate Flag and a Winchester rifle. I guess there will never be an end to war memorabilia, but I fail to see the allure. Rugs and furniture seem to not be valuable, no matter how old. I think that's the category I'm in. However, often Native American crafts are super valuable. The guy with the Winchester rifle which he had been told was in a battle with Custer, was not the right kind of rifle, but a beaded pony bag, was the real treasure, more than thirty times so. It was soft deerskin, with beaded plants in black, white and pumpkin colors, not all over beaded, just enough to be elegant and evocative of the plains. I was rooting for art over artillery, and for once, it prevailed.
A couple of more hours before my granddaughter arrives. I'm excited. I slept very poorly last night. I have her dress up box all set: firefighter, fairy, chef, doctor, scarves, pearls, picture hats. Let the games begin!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 29, 2011
Last day before El Tornado arrives. I've gotten down the little table and chairs, play food, playmobil, dolls, books and dress up clothes. A couple of stops for items and I'm set. She's arriving in an RV, so I bet she will want to stay with mom instead of our old boring house. She asked me on the phone yesterday what we were going to do, and I listed a bunch of things to which she said, we already did that. Oh, well. I'm sure we're going to keep her busy. My friend emailed that I'd better take my vitamins. True enough!
In the meantime, I'll enjoy the weather, the anticipation, the ways to get her on a train ride. Though to judge by last time, fairy bandaids are as dazzling as any trip. And walking the dogs and seeing my foster granddaughter are high up on the list as well. She's happy bungling in our back yard, and making the deck into a boat and the tiny bridge into an adventure. And I am delighted just watching.
In the meantime, I'll enjoy the weather, the anticipation, the ways to get her on a train ride. Though to judge by last time, fairy bandaids are as dazzling as any trip. And walking the dogs and seeing my foster granddaughter are high up on the list as well. She's happy bungling in our back yard, and making the deck into a boat and the tiny bridge into an adventure. And I am delighted just watching.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 28, 2011
You know the expression, "my eyes are bigger than my stomach"? I feel full, real full, overeating type full. I had two Belgian ales Friday night and way too much food at a Spanish restaurant, then ate too much at Study Group, then had fried chicken last night. So what did I do this morning? Made scrambled eggs, sausage (veggie, but still) and biscuits. At least I stopped after one biscuit, but that was to eat a bunch of cherries. Now I don't feel so good, again! This, I know, is called gluttony, but I'm sure I can calm down, and get back to moderation. Well, I'm almost sure.
It's a beautiful day, so hopefully I'll move my body enough to work off a very overendulgent weekend. But first, Target and a grocery store, and then maybe I'll be exhausted from shopping, and who knows, I may need a nap, and after all, our granddaughter is coming tomorrow and we should rest up for the little tornado.
As you can see, my will power is in short supply.
It's a beautiful day, so hopefully I'll move my body enough to work off a very overendulgent weekend. But first, Target and a grocery store, and then maybe I'll be exhausted from shopping, and who knows, I may need a nap, and after all, our granddaughter is coming tomorrow and we should rest up for the little tornado.
As you can see, my will power is in short supply.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 27, 2011
I have had a busy twenty four hours. We were spending our last time with our Irish "son" for this visit, and then I had a study group and meeting after which lasted five hours. I got little sleep last night so I'm going to snuggle down with a book in a minute and doze. I'm an excellent dozer. I get my sleeping abilities from my Dad, who could sleep anywhere, any time. And I'm a believer in naps. It's how I made it through college, and small children and now old age. I love my pillow, my bed, the chaise lounge in the sunroom, and my many cosy spots. I'm catlike in that way. Of course, my dogs sleep about 23 out of 24 hours, so I could say doglike. And they love to nap with me on the bed. Excuse me, I feel a rest time coming on.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 26, 2011
I finished "Room" yesterday. It was very disturbing and hard to read, but super well written. And the subject couldn't be more important. Because women are held like this all over the world. But more than a book about captivity, it is a book about motherhood and how tenacious our love can be. We won't give up, we don't, and we do so much more than survive. That love is absolute. I don't want to give away any plot, because I think everyone should read it. It's not a perfect book, but it gets hold of you and tugs.
Today I'm having lunch and dinner out. Lunch with our older son and his half brother, whom we adore, dinner with them and also our younger daughter and son. Tomorrow our Irish son leaves. I will miss him. It is so rare we're all together, but for a brief moment, at the cabin, we were. It makes for great memories.
My husband and I walked over to see "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" at our local theater. I'd already seen it, but was happy to see it again. The cave drawings are so beautiful, and the world it reveals so mesmerizing. My husband liked it as well. It feels so weird to be able to see a movie in the middle of the day. This retirement thing is strange.
Today I'm having lunch and dinner out. Lunch with our older son and his half brother, whom we adore, dinner with them and also our younger daughter and son. Tomorrow our Irish son leaves. I will miss him. It is so rare we're all together, but for a brief moment, at the cabin, we were. It makes for great memories.
My husband and I walked over to see "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" at our local theater. I'd already seen it, but was happy to see it again. The cave drawings are so beautiful, and the world it reveals so mesmerizing. My husband liked it as well. It feels so weird to be able to see a movie in the middle of the day. This retirement thing is strange.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 25, 2011
This morning is gloomy, but I shall persevere. I'm walking to lunch with a friend, and maybe going to a movie. I will see how the day unfolds. Tomorrow is super busy, so I could take it easy, but I got myself a little bored last night so perhaps I will feel better getting out more. I finished two really good books in the last couple of days. One was "Zulu", a South African mystery that is beautifully written. The other was Lisa Unger's new mystery. Now I am reading a book recommended by a friend, "Room" by an Irish writer, Donohue. It was short listed for the Booker. So far, so good.
I like the way mysteries pull me in and keep me focused, and the dark world they portray reminds me of my own dark side, which I am usually uncomfortable acknowledging. But some of the best writing today truly is in this genre, and with mysteries set in other countries, I get an easy to swallow dose of history and culture. I'm most attached to Irish writing, as I have relatives there. But Zulu was an eye opener about South Africa today. It was heartbreaking, but important to read.
I once tried to write a mystery myself, but I need another rewrite, I think. I almost got it taken by the Ellen Levine Agency, and I should have pursued it further. I think I see how to fix it. It was about a single woman with a house painting business, who decides to answer an ad for a nanny for three little girls. They live in a glass house in the mountains above Boulder, Colorado, and strange things begin to happen. It was great fun to write. I don't have enough perseverance, that's my problem. Well, that, and that I have no great skill as a writer. Oh, dear.
I like the way mysteries pull me in and keep me focused, and the dark world they portray reminds me of my own dark side, which I am usually uncomfortable acknowledging. But some of the best writing today truly is in this genre, and with mysteries set in other countries, I get an easy to swallow dose of history and culture. I'm most attached to Irish writing, as I have relatives there. But Zulu was an eye opener about South Africa today. It was heartbreaking, but important to read.
I once tried to write a mystery myself, but I need another rewrite, I think. I almost got it taken by the Ellen Levine Agency, and I should have pursued it further. I think I see how to fix it. It was about a single woman with a house painting business, who decides to answer an ad for a nanny for three little girls. They live in a glass house in the mountains above Boulder, Colorado, and strange things begin to happen. It was great fun to write. I don't have enough perseverance, that's my problem. Well, that, and that I have no great skill as a writer. Oh, dear.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 24, 2011
Another great sunny day. But a strange one yesterday. Earthquakes on the East Coast! Now that is weird. I remember when we were camping in Colorado many years ago, and we came upon this marker that said a campground had been on the site and in 1958 the campground was destroyed and people killed by an earthquake. I'd thought such things only happened on the West Coast. Our national unease right now seems to be reflected in our landscape.
Last night I had a dream, probably influenced by the quake, that a dark swarm of clouds was overhead, with lightening and swirling tornadoes agitating the sky, and we all knew that something apocalyptic was afoot. I woke up, thinking the dream was a bit like War of the Worlds or one of those movies that I love to watch. What I like about those movies is that the human race comes together for one purpose, and it is not to destroy each other. Of course, it usually means annilating a visitor species, but at least we recognize finally that we are all in this enterprise together. And it's crystal clear that only an invasion from outer space can accomplish this amazingly obvious revelation.
So today, I'll be watching carefully to see if there are any signs. Maybe even wear an aluminum foil hat, so alien species can't read my mind. Of course, why anyone would care to, I've no idea. I bore myself silly, and I should think I'd have the major interest in my thinking. But no, I prefer to read others' thoughts in books or on the screen. My goofy brain is hardly fit for profundity. But it suits me, and it's all I've got!
Last night I had a dream, probably influenced by the quake, that a dark swarm of clouds was overhead, with lightening and swirling tornadoes agitating the sky, and we all knew that something apocalyptic was afoot. I woke up, thinking the dream was a bit like War of the Worlds or one of those movies that I love to watch. What I like about those movies is that the human race comes together for one purpose, and it is not to destroy each other. Of course, it usually means annilating a visitor species, but at least we recognize finally that we are all in this enterprise together. And it's crystal clear that only an invasion from outer space can accomplish this amazingly obvious revelation.
So today, I'll be watching carefully to see if there are any signs. Maybe even wear an aluminum foil hat, so alien species can't read my mind. Of course, why anyone would care to, I've no idea. I bore myself silly, and I should think I'd have the major interest in my thinking. But no, I prefer to read others' thoughts in books or on the screen. My goofy brain is hardly fit for profundity. But it suits me, and it's all I've got!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 23, 2011
Today began with sunshine, and I am going to emulate nature. I have a date with a grocery store, then lunch with a friend. I have the sun in the morning and the moon at night (Annie Get Your Gun). I am wearing a shirt I love and my new sandals I ordered online. The other day my older daughter commented on my love of shoes. I told her I came by it naturally. My mother loved shoes, and I remember trips to the big city (not that big city) with her and my best friend and her mom. My mom had narrow feet (AAA) and my friend's mom was built like a hen but with the tiniest, daintiest ankles that she was so proud of. We'd watch them try on every shoe in the store, and admire their legs. We wanted to wear pointy heels and have matching handbags and go out for cocktails.
So shoe shopping is a badge of being a grownup and also associated for me with pleasure, luxury, and hot fudge sundaes. Yes, after the shopping, came the sundaes, our reward for being drug along and only getting saddle shoes for school. I don't like utilitarian shoes to this day, I like red shoes, and sandals with a lot of straps and my new shoes that are a soft aqua and remind me of cool water. I don't wear heels, but I like a shoe with pizazz. Call me frivolous, call me foolish, but compliment me on my shoes. That's where all the effort of my appearance is concentrated.
So shoe shopping is a badge of being a grownup and also associated for me with pleasure, luxury, and hot fudge sundaes. Yes, after the shopping, came the sundaes, our reward for being drug along and only getting saddle shoes for school. I don't like utilitarian shoes to this day, I like red shoes, and sandals with a lot of straps and my new shoes that are a soft aqua and remind me of cool water. I don't wear heels, but I like a shoe with pizazz. Call me frivolous, call me foolish, but compliment me on my shoes. That's where all the effort of my appearance is concentrated.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 22, 2011
Well, it was great to be off the grid for a while: no email, phone or other communication. The whole family was up at the cabin, and considering the cramped quarters, complete lack of privacy and number of people, we were respectful and gracious. We also had a lot of fun, and swam and canoed and barbequed our butts off. The temperature was perfect, and the weather was a gift to us. My husband and I had a wonderful early birthday party, and our kids cooked us a feast to remember. And now we're back to ordinary life, which has a lot of great moments also. Our older son took us to see Virgil Thomson's and Gertrude Stein's "Four Saints in Three Acts", and it was delightful. I've always wanted to see it. I was lucky enough to see "The Mother of Us All" at the opera house a couple of years ago. I am such a fan of Thomson and Stein.
So today I'll catch us with cleaning and organizing the house, and figure out what generally needs doing, and maybe think about a movie this week. And most importantly, catch up with my friends.
So today I'll catch us with cleaning and organizing the house, and figure out what generally needs doing, and maybe think about a movie this week. And most importantly, catch up with my friends.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 12, 2011
We're packing up to go to the cabin for a week. It always seems we need a U Haul to take all the supplies up. And especially this time, with a family reunion, I could bring up the contents of a grocery store, and it would still get eaten up. But what a happy occasion, and how rare these days, and I am super appreciative of the gathering of the clan. My best memories in childhood include picnics in a park where my mother's huge family would assemble, we kids would run around like wild mustangs and the row of dishes would stretch a mile. Jello salads, macaroni, potato and every kind of thing pumped full of mayonaise, fried chicken, roast beef, fresh sliced tomatoes from the gardens, corn, green beans, pickled beets, plump dinner rolls. A feast indeed. And the cakes and pies! It was always bit disconcerting to see my aunts, in whom I recognized my own features, cousins with whom I was shy for a few moments, and the babies and toddlers whose names I couldn't keep straight.
My own family is not so huge (my mother was one of thirteen kids), but it is getting bigger and all of us delight in that fact. And at the cabin, we have master games of scrabble, put puzzles together, swim, fish, take out a party boat, and just enjoy the air of the mountains and the huge trees. And the lake. So I am one happy camper.
My own family is not so huge (my mother was one of thirteen kids), but it is getting bigger and all of us delight in that fact. And at the cabin, we have master games of scrabble, put puzzles together, swim, fish, take out a party boat, and just enjoy the air of the mountains and the huge trees. And the lake. So I am one happy camper.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 11, 2011
Today is a friend's birthday, and we always figure out something to do together that is a little get-away, but this year it is really going to have to wait. I have a busy few weeks coming up, and I'm still struggling to get over my cough. Being kind and gentle to myself must include not doing some fun things until I'm better. I used to be a workhorse, plowing through no matter how I felt. But, as I said to another friend last night, I'm no spring chicken any more. I respect my age, and how easily a cough becomes chronic. So I'll do one or two errands today, and keep reading my mystery, and pack for a week at the cabin. Slow and steady.
If this sounds like a woman who has finally realized she must rescue herself, and has stopped waiting around, you're so right! I take care of myself as I wish someone would take care of me, and it feels great! Turns out being kind to myself is just as warm and fuzzy and when another does it. Maybe better. Because I know that Throat Coat tea is just the ticket, and how to walk to my mystery book store and select just the book, and that BLTs are good enough if I'm not feeling like cooking. I'm my perfect nurse!
If this sounds like a woman who has finally realized she must rescue herself, and has stopped waiting around, you're so right! I take care of myself as I wish someone would take care of me, and it feels great! Turns out being kind to myself is just as warm and fuzzy and when another does it. Maybe better. Because I know that Throat Coat tea is just the ticket, and how to walk to my mystery book store and select just the book, and that BLTs are good enough if I'm not feeling like cooking. I'm my perfect nurse!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 10, 2011
I got up early today to take our daughter to drop her car off, then stopped to have something fixed on my car, picked up prescriptions, got gas and cash, and now it's nine am and I feel like I've been up for hours. Well, I guess I have. I hardly know what to do with myself for the rest of the day. The vista spreads before me as a vast plain, with many possibilities. I see in the newspaper that "The Help" is out, and I really want to go, and I have lunch with a friend for her birthday, and there is the option of doing a Target run. Really, the world is before me.
Last night I called a friend and after we'd caught up a while, she said she was eating frozen yogurt on a bench overlooking the lake, and it seemed so delightful, that I felt I was there on the bench with her, watching the people stroll by and seeing the lights reflected in the water. She had her little dog with her, and I was transported just imagining her there, while I was on my bed at home. It was a lovely moment.
It was sunny from the get-go this morning, and it's affecting my mood in the most positive way, and having the stock market not go to zero yesterday definitely helped. London is disturbing, and much suffering is occurring, and I'll pray for everyone, but live this day lightly, in gratitude.
Last night I called a friend and after we'd caught up a while, she said she was eating frozen yogurt on a bench overlooking the lake, and it seemed so delightful, that I felt I was there on the bench with her, watching the people stroll by and seeing the lights reflected in the water. She had her little dog with her, and I was transported just imagining her there, while I was on my bed at home. It was a lovely moment.
It was sunny from the get-go this morning, and it's affecting my mood in the most positive way, and having the stock market not go to zero yesterday definitely helped. London is disturbing, and much suffering is occurring, and I'll pray for everyone, but live this day lightly, in gratitude.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 9, 2011
Our daughter just stopped by to borrow our large car, because she and her boyfriend found a sofa on the street. Very enterprising, those two. They just moved very close to us, and have a bigger space and are adorably excited. On my trip I bought them cat pot holders and a kitchen towel. It's fun to be fixing up a new place.
I got back from my trip last night, and all went reasonably well, except I was sick with a cough and had to take Tylenol non-stop the whole time. That meshed pretty well with my friend's leg injury, so we were companionably inert a lot of the time. We did see her granddaughter and mine, and took a ferry to an island for the day, but mainly we took things slow and easy. I was also attempting to avoid the news, but my friend likes to be in the know, so there was a background anxiety for me about the economy, London, and the general instability at this moment. It went well with my own malaise quite well.
On the flight back, a man was almost evicted before the plan took off - I guess he'd been arguing with his girlfriend, but he was also generally belligerent and on drugs or alcohol. The crew separated them, and he ended up in the seat in front of me, so I heard a lot of warnings by the crew, his mumblings, and it generally made for an anxious flight. They didn't arrest him at the gate, and at baggage claim I heard someone say he'd caught up with the girlfriend, so that sent a little shiver of fear for her up my spine. I wished she would have escaped, since she was up front as we were exiting, but she probably lives with the jerk and has no help.
I've still got my cough, but I feel pretty good, and soon we go to our cabin with our family and dear friends. I'm excited.
I got back from my trip last night, and all went reasonably well, except I was sick with a cough and had to take Tylenol non-stop the whole time. That meshed pretty well with my friend's leg injury, so we were companionably inert a lot of the time. We did see her granddaughter and mine, and took a ferry to an island for the day, but mainly we took things slow and easy. I was also attempting to avoid the news, but my friend likes to be in the know, so there was a background anxiety for me about the economy, London, and the general instability at this moment. It went well with my own malaise quite well.
On the flight back, a man was almost evicted before the plan took off - I guess he'd been arguing with his girlfriend, but he was also generally belligerent and on drugs or alcohol. The crew separated them, and he ended up in the seat in front of me, so I heard a lot of warnings by the crew, his mumblings, and it generally made for an anxious flight. They didn't arrest him at the gate, and at baggage claim I heard someone say he'd caught up with the girlfriend, so that sent a little shiver of fear for her up my spine. I wished she would have escaped, since she was up front as we were exiting, but she probably lives with the jerk and has no help.
I've still got my cough, but I feel pretty good, and soon we go to our cabin with our family and dear friends. I'm excited.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 2, 2011
My female dog just came up and pushed the door open to my studio to see what I was doing. She's kind of Houdini-like, and knows how to get in and out of her crate, and open most doors. Sometimes I look around for her, calling her and running up the stairs, then hear something at the front door and open it to see her sitting there, exasperated, looking like: "I knocked, what's wrong with you?" She isn't supposed to get out of the back yard, but that evidently is just a formality.
I hope Congress doesn't think they're heroes because they passed this terrible deal that is satisfying to no one. It's like children expecting you to have amnesia when they finally get up off the floor after a tantrum and act cooperatively. The whole show leaves residual anger and a bad taste in the mouth. I really don't want to see or hear any of them for a long while. I mean, with your kids, you forgive, but these are supposed to be adults.
Tomorrow I go on a visit with my best friend, and I'm so looking forward to it. I hope to avoid the news in every way possible. I just want the REAL news: what is happening with my friend, and connecting again. That's how I get along in this crazy world.
I hope Congress doesn't think they're heroes because they passed this terrible deal that is satisfying to no one. It's like children expecting you to have amnesia when they finally get up off the floor after a tantrum and act cooperatively. The whole show leaves residual anger and a bad taste in the mouth. I really don't want to see or hear any of them for a long while. I mean, with your kids, you forgive, but these are supposed to be adults.
Tomorrow I go on a visit with my best friend, and I'm so looking forward to it. I hope to avoid the news in every way possible. I just want the REAL news: what is happening with my friend, and connecting again. That's how I get along in this crazy world.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Old Age Day by Day August 1, 2011
My husband is babysitting a rental truck while our daughter and her boyfriend are moving. Ah, the joys of being retired. I just had a friend cancel lunch, so now I am free to do a couple of errands before having tea with a friend at 4. Our lives are pretty breezy and good. I love the band of friends I have and feel blessed. We have some of our grown children nearby, and we live in a great area. I am so fortunate. Time is moving very swiftly for me. It's the beginning of August, and I think I missed July. We're hurling toward Fall, and I need a little more sun and sandals before I give in.
I took my husband to see "Buck" the documentary about a horse whisperer, and he loved it as much as I did. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't be changed from seeing it. It contains the profoundest life lessons, and a portrait of an ordinary man who willed himself to be a better person than his background would suggest. It is that old cliche - inspiring.
I took my husband to see "Buck" the documentary about a horse whisperer, and he loved it as much as I did. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't be changed from seeing it. It contains the profoundest life lessons, and a portrait of an ordinary man who willed himself to be a better person than his background would suggest. It is that old cliche - inspiring.
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