Old Age Day by Day December 19, 2011

I'm taking a break from the blog.  My granddaughter is coming and I've missed her so much.  She's only here a week and I'm going to enjoy her and our daughter all I can.  We have tree finding plans, sugar cookie plans, possible Fairyland, parties to attend, and an overnight getaway.  I can hardly wait until we pick them up at the airport tomorrow.  It's not only kids' heads which get filled with visions of sugarplums!  Hope the whole world relaxes, acts peacefully, appreciates family and friends, and lets the angels of our better selves prevail.

Old Age Day by Day December 17, 2011

I smell of Bon Ami and lysol.  We're cleaning today for the holidays, and it's sheer laziness the rest of the time that makes it such an effort.  Many tasks need doing, and there is a satisfaction in getting them done.  Also, I have no particularly exciting book I'm reading right now.  That is on purpose.  I'm reading a history of France during the Dreyfus Affair.  So the work is not keeping me from a riveting mystery.  I know better than to allow myself any ways out.  Because I always take them.

I am perhaps also too kind to spiders and their webs.  Today is going to be ruthless.  They will having to cease their construction until after the holidays.  Because I do have some pride left, and having guests getting all tangled in cobwebs is quite embarrassing.  I maybe even clean all the windows, though that is a lower priority.  And cleaning the stove - forgetaboutit.  Some tasks are just too gargantuan. 

But like spring cleaning, this work sets my heart soaring, because next come the people, the food, the laughter, the joy.

Old Age Day by Day December 16, 2011

Well the chorus concert is over and I enjoyed it despite myself.  We sang really well, a lot of people came, the food was great, and it's over.  I'm thinking of trying a funny solo a la Danny Kaye.  I'll see what my voice teacher thinks of the idea.  And I have a duet to work up with a fellow tenor.  I want to do "The Book of Love" by Magnetic Fields.  We're going to begin practicing in January.  In the meantime, only three more days until my daughter and granddaughter arrive, and then the tree, the cooking, the party, hopefully lots of laughter and fun.

But now to my voice lesson.  Must keep the old pipes in shape. 

Old Age Day by Day December15, 2011

Today is our son-in-law's birthday.  We left him a singing message on his cell phone.  I'm so old I miss the land lines and ability to actually connect with another human.  Now it's all messages and texts.  I finished wrapping presents yesterday, and tomorrow my younger son and I will tackle grocery shopping for our party.  We're trying to do as much ahead as possible.  It's fun having someone else to plan and help.  Maybe that is going to be almost as much fun as the party itself!

In the meantime I am practicing for our concert tonight and washing and cleaning.  Last night my husband and I watched "Super *" and it was great fun.  Then I continued my reading of "Judgment of Paris" about the Salon de Refuse and the Impressionists.  Some of it I knew, but I am learning about the emperors of France and artists like Messionier.  It's educational, and I'm seeing more the impact of modern artists like Manet, who is one of my all time faves.  A lot of his paintings are still disturbing.  I think it is because he engages us so directly - and the engagement is a kind of conspiracy, even now.

I'm heading off to lunch with a friend.  We'll catch up.  She has a baby granddaughter I want to hear all about!

Old Age Day by Day December 14, 2011

Well, all the decorations are pretty much up except the tree, which we will select when our granddaughter arrives.  It looks good.  I love the smell of the garlands.  And soon there will be the food smells and people in the house.  Our younger daughter helped a bit last night, and she and her boyfriend took home some stuff for decorating.  It's fun to see them get into the spirit.  They are going to have a little tree.  Today, my mission, should I choose to accept it, is to wrap presents.  I believe I have the tools and equipment to complete the task, and hopefully without dangling from a rope.

My foster granddaughter and I took a walk and looked at the shops yesterday.  There were kittens in the pet store, and she took a fancy to an all black one.  We saw a lady choose him and take him home.  That made us happy.  She found some amazing orange birds and we tried talking to the parrots.  No luck.  We read books in the bookstore, and examined the toy store carefully.  She had a S'more bar at the bakery, and we stayed out until dark, then returned and watched the Berenstain Bears until her mom came.  Next week, we're baking cookies!

Old Age Day by Day December 13, 2011

The thirteenth indeed!  My friend called and can't walk the dogs with me because her mom is very ill.  My husband is a grump.  I had a very bad night not sleeping and had a bad dream.  You know how it shakes you up when a dream is disturbing.  I'll be so busy today perhaps there is just no time for a funk, but right now I feel like stoking the fires, and getting myself as worked up as possible.  But, part of my mind knows these are little trifles, and the world has much bigger issues to contend with, and I am so lucky overall that it is ridiculous.  But I don't want to think about my fortunate state, I want to fantasize about my unfortunate state.  Am I absurd?  Absolutely!

I may be partly frazzled because I spent 40 minutes in line at the post office yesterday and then she wouldn't take my package because it was not wrapped well enough.  She relented a bit, gave me scissors and tape and had me work on it.  I eventually turned it in, but I was beaten down by the fray.  I tackled a store for gift bags and garlands, and waited in another line, then finally purchased my stuff and when I got home discovered I had one more garland than I'd paid for.  Did I return, dear reader, I did not.  So on top of everything else I am a criminal.  I hope the stripes are vertical in prison, because horizontal stripes do not suit me.

No wonder I'm in a mess.  The holidays have come home to roost!

Old Age Day by Day December 12, 2011

It's a dark, windy, blustery day.  We are taking our daughter-in-law to the airport, and it sure could be better weather for her flight.  She and our son will have a lovely time in London and Dublin, among family and the general friendliness of Ireland.  The weather - well, probably the weather won't be lovely, but she's prepared.  And we could be in London here today, with the overcast humidity and threatening rain. 

I have to expand my field when someone I love is far away.  It's stretched now to London and Dublin and Cork, but it has encompassed most of the world at times.  It's good exercise, to think of those parts of the planet we normally ignore.  To include them in our blessings, prayers and thoughts.  Yesterday, I thought of Mexico and the earthquake.  We are one planet, one living, breathing being.  I try to remember that fact.

Old Age Day by Day December 11, 2011

I went with my friend this morning to hear a Tibetan teacher, and he was delightful and gentle and wise.  I had been frayed and frazzled, but the sitting and then his talk balanced me back to some semblance of normalcy.  My friend bought me his book, so I'm going to read some of it this afternoon.  It's a dreary, looking like rain day, and all I want to do is eat muffins and drink tea.  Tomorrow is time enough to get back on track for the holidays.  I ended up getting a whole lot done yesterday - finishing cards, finishing sewing, shopping with my daughter and finding paper plates etc for my party.  So today is a day of rest, as it should be. 

Old Age Day by Day December 10, 2011

I entered the world of legos again with my husband yesterday.  We were searching for a gift for our granddaughter, and she is only 3 but fascinated by small legos.  First we considered a fire station, as she wants to be a firefighter when she grows up.  Then, the boat looked good, and with 300 pieces rather than double that.  There was the 3 in 1 bulldozer set.  There were Star Wars sets (she has no idea what that is), and lots of warfare type contraptions.  There was one sort of girl set, but it was a zoo, and she's been there, done that.  After careful consideration, we settled on the boat.  Then we spent another half hour looking at all the craft kits for our foster granddaughter.  Should we get one that said 8 an up when she is only 6?  Would her mother resent us forever?  The answer was leaning towards yes, so we finally picked to sets that were for 7 and up.  This world of toys is complicated.

So now we are done with the fun part of shopping, and actually, most of the other as well.  If I can just finish my sewing this weekend, we'll be set.  Oh, and the stack of cards, and the garlands, and then the lights.

Old Age Day by Day December 9, 2011

My youngest turns twenty nine today.  I have a red velvet cake all ready and we're going to a restaurant beforehand that she chose.  I am a mom who likes direction.  While I was getting the cake, in a bakery right out of the fifties, I noticed a stollen tree, darling santa and gingerbread cookies, petit fours that were like baby presents in bright colors.  I may be forced to come back right before Christmas.  My eyes lingered on a Tiana Princess and the Frog sheetcake with a lily pond, and I'm fond of the cupcakes shaped like frogs and mushrooms.  Yes, it's probably all still made with lard and clogs the arteries upon impact, but what a beautiful way to die.  Of course, I can't eat any of it due to diabetes, but what the hay, I can look, can't I?

Remember the cakes with the doll in the center and the cake was the skirt?  I dreamed of those when I was a kid.  My mother was a great cake maker, but like every other kid, I wanted store bought.  I guess some of that desire has lingered all this while.  Being in the bakery was delightful, and I never ate a thing.

Old Age Day by Day December 8, 2011

Our younger daughter returned from a three day teacher's conference the way you hope - full of energy, enthusiasm and ideas.  Her group was chosen to bring their idea into the classroom and see how it works, and she was proud.  The Gates Foundation is encouraging this inspiration for teachers, and I give them full credit for looking to the future - our kids.  Collaboration is the key to this approach, and it sounds rich with common sense.  I was upbeat just listening to her on the phone.  Tomorrow is her birthday, and I believe she has already received a great gift.

I am half way through my Stephen King book, and deep into that human impulse to change the past and hope for a better future.  There is a lot to think about with this time travel theme - back to the future indeed.  And other issues arise - like preventative incarceration, domestic abuse, and places that just seem to have a pall over them.  It's a fun read, but provocative as well.

Now I must stop dallying and take my pile of cards to the post office, do a few errands, practice before my voice lesson and see my therapist.  Time's awasting!

Old Age Day by Day December 7, 2011

My foster granddaughter and I had fun looking at ornaments yesterday and picking out one for her dog, one for the baby to come and a couple for her.  She wanted a Santa hat, and it looked adorable on her red hair.  Needless to say, we are in the holiday mood.  We sang Christmas carols all the way home.  Her mother is absolutely glowing in her pregnancy, and her happiness has radiated out to us all.  What a delight it is to share in such joy.

Maybe that was why I was up for seeing the old movie "On the Beach", and managed to enjoy the acting and the fact that it is as pertinent today as it was then.  But I had a rough night sleeping, so I believe it did disturb me.  Boy, was Ava Gardner gorgeous.  No one else has ever looked like her.  And Gregory Peck wasn't too shabby either, before he got so craggy.  And it was nice to see Antony Perkins in a role where he wasn't neurotic or worse.  But perhaps the next movie I watch will be a tad more upbeat.

Old Age Day by Day December 6, 2011

The Eames documentary yesterday was quite interesting, and I hadn't known much about them or that they did anything but furniture.  It stays complex, except for not really addressing Charles' infidelities, and the blurred boundaries between himself and his associates.  Ray is not equally represented, though they do address the sexism of the time about her.  But the real sexism seems to have come from Charles.  The cost of fame is implied, and the exhaustion of being playful perhaps past feeling it.  They were two very beautiful people, and that has it's own burden as well.  The film is good enough to show us how to see the shadow side of their lives for ourselves.

Then we met an elderly woman coming out, who asked if we had an Eames chair.  I did not, but my friend surprised me by saying she had a knock off.  My friend walked up the street with the lady to direct her to a cafe, and I walked home.  That spontaneous kindness is why I like my friend so much.  She's a good model for me.

Old Age Day by Day December 5, 2011

I finished a book I found mesmerizing.  Einstein's Girl is a fictional account of Berlin in 1933, set in a psychiatric hospital as the Nazis are gearing up to pass a law to exterminate all "defective" citizens.  Einstein is still in Germany but about to leave for England and then America, and he is abandoning his younger son, who is in another psychaitric facility, and his unacknowledged daughter born before he married his first wife, and adopted away to save shame.  These two children of Einstein are true, not fiction, and the complex feelings and sufferings of both are realistic and haunting.  The psychiatrist who is featured is humane and progressive, but he is battling a culture that is sadistic.  I couldn't put it down - well I did, but couldn't wait to get back to it.  It's a paperback.

Now I'm really reading something weird.  I haven't read Stephen King since I was in my early thirties, but I'm reading the new book 11/23/63.  It's a fun idea, to go back in time and try to change history, and he's a good writer, so he makes it gripping and easy to read.

But for today, I'm going out to lunch with a friend and see a movie about Eames.  It should be interesting.

Old Age Day by Day December 4, 2011

I had a relaxing week with my friend.  We saw art, visited people, had an overnight get-away and celebrated her birthday in high style.  Now, on to our younger daughter's birthday, and the holidays.  My daughter and I shopped yesterday and she has picked out very nice and sensible stuff.  She's easy to shop with and never pushes for more.  She's a saver and modest.  More importantly, she's always fun to be with.  We went back to our house and watched "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington", Frank Capra's take on Congress, and it is right on the money (yes, that is a pun).

Evidently, the corruption now is nothing on the corruption of 1939.  Oh, dear.

Today it is beautiful, crisp weather, and I've walked the dogs already, and am set for errands and a few tasks at home.  My husband just counted the pansy plants and we are six more down from yesterday.  The dogs are secretly pruning when we look the other way.