At the opera yesterday, there was an unusually large group of uncivil opera goers. First there was the man in front with his cell phone lit up. My husband politely asked him to turn it off. Then he was talking loudly and the man on the other side of him asked him to shut up, but loudly. Then the man, who was tall, got up and left his seat, causing the doors to open and the sunlight flood in. There was an uncommon amount of coming and going during the opera, and each time my eye was pulled to the sunlight outside as the doors were flung open and shut. I think everyone had baseball fever or acute attacks of claustrophobia or perhaps Mozart is not to their liking.
And at the end, after beautiful effort and execution of the complicated opera, a hoard of people arose before the curtain to close and blocked the view to the cast. They not only were not applauding, they were getting the hell out of dodge so they could save one minute in the parking garage. They didn't clap even one time; it was as if they'd seen a movie and the cast before them was a cartoon, instead of real, sweating, breathing people who had given their all physically and vocally.
What arose in me and my husband, and the two ladies sitting next to me was an almost irresistable urge to throttle these people. Where has civility gone? We were all in this opera interprise together, except these jerks who were in it for themselves, and seem to ignore the engagement and interaction that makes opera or any other live theater so lively. Why didn't they stay home and listen to a CD with a drink in hand, saving gas and and the enragement of those of us who wanted to be fully present for the event? It's a mystery to me.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Old Age Day by Day October 10, 2010
Our area has a baseball team in the playoffs, my football team won yesterday, I cried through Secretariat last night and today is an opera - Mozart's Marriage of Figaro. What's not to like? Fall is still feeling pretty nice, and the weather is perfecto. I am even reading a really terrific mystery, one that engages the reader with the characters in a complex and well researched way. I am all admiration for the author.
Monday I am organizing my shelves in my clothes closet, after an emergency trip to Target. So I must have Fall Cleaning impulse. I can see the organized plastic bins now, in my mind, lined up and so neatly that no tee shirts or sweaters are going to fall on my head or onto the floor as I open the doors. Yes, there is initial expenditure, but afterward, the ecstasy. Color coded by bin, arranged in tees (short sleeved), tees (long sleeved), sweaters, underwear, and pants, plus yoga pants and team tees. Centuries from now, anthropologists will we amazed the brain capacity and organizational skills of my species. I can't wait to get started. Tomorrow.
Monday I am organizing my shelves in my clothes closet, after an emergency trip to Target. So I must have Fall Cleaning impulse. I can see the organized plastic bins now, in my mind, lined up and so neatly that no tee shirts or sweaters are going to fall on my head or onto the floor as I open the doors. Yes, there is initial expenditure, but afterward, the ecstasy. Color coded by bin, arranged in tees (short sleeved), tees (long sleeved), sweaters, underwear, and pants, plus yoga pants and team tees. Centuries from now, anthropologists will we amazed the brain capacity and organizational skills of my species. I can't wait to get started. Tomorrow.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Old Age Day by Day October 9, 2010
I'm going to see the movie Secretariat today. I worship that horse, and read his biography a long time ago. The reviews are not great, but I don't care. I'm a horse movie nut. I've persuaded my daughter and husband to go as well. But first, a visit with a dear friend, and perhaps a walk with her. It is perfect fall weather, and there is a football game today, and everything about the day seems delightful.
So here I go, off to the bright sunlight and crisp air. Enjoying fall, and not worrying about the winter.
So here I go, off to the bright sunlight and crisp air. Enjoying fall, and not worrying about the winter.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Old Age Day by Day October 8, 2010
I had a long walk with a friend this morning and inevitably we spoke of her elderly dog. I have three friends who have dogs at the end of their lives. These dogs are beautiful souls and I love them. I've known them since they were puppies, and I do not minimize how upsetting it is to lose your dog. It also seems to be a kind of rehearsal for us; when do we let go, when is the suffering too great, how to pay attention to what your dog is telling you. I try to be a friend they can feel free to discuss this stage with: sometimes it feels embarrassing to be sad about a dog, rather than a human. But those of us who love animals understand.
Even in the dog world, now, there are vets who want every kind of intervention, and those who let what is happening unfold without too much interference. So being assertive around your pet is a kind of practice for being assertive for our own health care. Sometimes it is easier to see these issues through an animal filter, than face them with a human we love or ourselves.
We hope for kindness and gentleness in all things, and we learn that to find out what those consist of in certain situations is a struggle. If we come back to our intention of causing less suffering, and take our cues from our dog, perhaps we have a better chance at making the leaving as beautiful as the dog herself.
Even in the dog world, now, there are vets who want every kind of intervention, and those who let what is happening unfold without too much interference. So being assertive around your pet is a kind of practice for being assertive for our own health care. Sometimes it is easier to see these issues through an animal filter, than face them with a human we love or ourselves.
We hope for kindness and gentleness in all things, and we learn that to find out what those consist of in certain situations is a struggle. If we come back to our intention of causing less suffering, and take our cues from our dog, perhaps we have a better chance at making the leaving as beautiful as the dog herself.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Old Age Day by Day October 7, 2010
I'm going to have a piano tuner come today. The tuner who came for many years changed professions, but then I forgot he told me that he would no longer be minstrating to pianos, so I waited for his call to set up the next tuning, and then forgot all about it and I'm afraid it may have been a couple of years since Yamaha Snookie had any attention whatsoever. The time not only flew but dissolved in the terrifying mix that is my brain. And to complicate things further, I remember moving a ceramic head on the piano, and it broke and there have been shards of pottery in the inner workings of Snookie for some time. A kind of scrapnel of art is embedded in her most private parts, and she needs surgery. What a bad caretaker I am! I might have laughed it off with the old piano tuner, but I've never met this guy before, and let's face it, I am not going to make a good impression.
Oh, well, often I don't make a good impression; I ought to be used to it. I must remind myself that this person is a stranger and what do I care what he thinks. Snookie's needs come first, over my ego, but belatedly, I admit.
Oh, well, often I don't make a good impression; I ought to be used to it. I must remind myself that this person is a stranger and what do I care what he thinks. Snookie's needs come first, over my ego, but belatedly, I admit.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Old Age Day by Day October 6, 2010
It must be fall; I've been knitting again, something green and blue that is very fuzzy and bulky. Where it will go I don't yet know. Somewhere around the time I finish with the yarn it will come to me: this afghan would be perfect for so-and-so. Perhaps a friend will be recovering from a surgery, or a child will need a comfort blankie, or I'll hear of a stranger that could use a little surprise boost. As I knit it comes to me. Comfort is almost always appreciated, and snuggling is universal.
They talk about transitional objects for babies, but I believe we need them throughout our lives, and I have had my bouts of wearing a ring of my mother's for days or weeks at a time, or putting on my father's all weather hat when I needed support. When I go on a trip, I often wear my mother's diamond studs, because she was fearful of flying, and I know she'd understand and protect me if she could.
We are swaddled as infants, and we can all use a bit of swaddling throughout our lives. The robe Buddhists refer to is "the Great Robe of Liberation". We take on this mantle of our ancestors, struggling to do good in the world and not cause harm. But maybe that robe is also the robe of our mothers, cradling us as we are born into this world, and maybe it is the robe in which we are wrapped as we die; an emblem of love to be a companion to us in this life.
They talk about transitional objects for babies, but I believe we need them throughout our lives, and I have had my bouts of wearing a ring of my mother's for days or weeks at a time, or putting on my father's all weather hat when I needed support. When I go on a trip, I often wear my mother's diamond studs, because she was fearful of flying, and I know she'd understand and protect me if she could.
We are swaddled as infants, and we can all use a bit of swaddling throughout our lives. The robe Buddhists refer to is "the Great Robe of Liberation". We take on this mantle of our ancestors, struggling to do good in the world and not cause harm. But maybe that robe is also the robe of our mothers, cradling us as we are born into this world, and maybe it is the robe in which we are wrapped as we die; an emblem of love to be a companion to us in this life.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Old Age Day by Day October 5, 2010
I have been away helping a friend recover from knee surgery. I don't know how much I actually helped, but I was there to fetch water and talk and bring bags of ice. I saw that my presence as a witness was maybe the most important contribution, and that I was there to hear if she was in pain or couldn't eat or felt hopeful - the whole gamut of response to a trauma to the body. Her husband is there, but fatigued from worry and too much nursing, and I gave him a little break. It is a gift for other people to let me aid them. I felt their generosity in doing so.
They have three dogs, who were doing their part. The big one was licking her knee area for the fastest healing results, the poodle was on the pillow next to her to keep her company, and the smallest dog was worrying his blanket in a kind of rosary for her well being. They would eagerly have finished her meals, except for due diligence, and ran out in the yard when the sickroom got too boring.
I relaxed into that state where I drop down about five levels, and just be. I was alert if she needed anything, but basically I was another body in the room, in the experience, in that place of injury and gentle healing that requires patience, setting aside agendas, and waiting and seeing. It takes as long as it takes.
They have three dogs, who were doing their part. The big one was licking her knee area for the fastest healing results, the poodle was on the pillow next to her to keep her company, and the smallest dog was worrying his blanket in a kind of rosary for her well being. They would eagerly have finished her meals, except for due diligence, and ran out in the yard when the sickroom got too boring.
I relaxed into that state where I drop down about five levels, and just be. I was alert if she needed anything, but basically I was another body in the room, in the experience, in that place of injury and gentle healing that requires patience, setting aside agendas, and waiting and seeing. It takes as long as it takes.
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