Old Age Day by Day November 7, 2011

It's brilliant, beautiful fall weather, and I've only been out in it so far to get a blood test and go to Trader Joe's, but when I sit at my desk I see the upper back yard and trees.  I'm a bit frazzled, because I'm trying to get a retreat venue date settled for my teacher, and the email thing is actually slowing things down.  Or there is more than one person taking reservations.  Hopefully, it will get sorted out today.  Whatever will be will be as the old song goes.

I'm tackling Murakami's opus now.  I feel strong enough.  I have the will to succeed.  And yesterday I read a review that it is best read in as close to one sitting as possible.  Since it's over 900 pages, that seems absurd, but I will at least attempt not to pick up any other books while I'm reading 1Q84.  It might also involve giving up all the other little projects I work on daily, like Spanish, music and the perpetual organizing.  Today I took all the dogs' toys downstairs.  That won't last long. 

I'm looking forward to seeing a friend today who lives north but is down here for several days.  We're having tea here and I'm going to make scones.  I even have Devonshire cream, as my local market carries luxuries like that.  It will be delightful, I'm sure.

Old Age Day by Day November 6, 2011

I have emerged unscathed from a relative's abundant feast.  I had only one helping, and ignored the bread (my favorite part), and refused cake.  And it felt fine.  The conversation and warmth far outweighed (get it?) the temptation to overeat.  It was raining and cold, and it felt great to be inside a warm room laughing and catching up.  Now I can go back to my salad grazing and continue my discovery of a lesser me.

Less is more, and all that.  Less talking means more listening, less thinking means more intuition, less judgment means more generosity of spirit, less expectation means more awareness of the here and now.

Old Age Day by Day November 5, 2011

It's very cold today.  A perfect day for going to my relatives for lobster curry.  Which we are doing.  A perfect day to read a good mystery, which I have in hand.  A perfect day to STAY INSIDE.  I guess I'll have to do my exercise video if I want to move at all.  Or bundle up and hit the streets.  First I have to find my gloves and hat and scarf and look into the dark end of the closet and see what winter coats are hidden there.  I tried just wearing my fleece jacket over a tee shirt and sweater yesterday, but that was clearly not enough protection from the elements.  Serious adjustments are in order.  I am going into ALERT WINTER MODE.

Now I know to most of the country this is laughable.  I'm sorry, but this extreme weather change.  So even if the temperature is what you in your part of the country consider mild spring or fall, it is dramatic to us.  We need our drama.  So I'm going to bundle up like a package of blankets being mailed to Alaska.  And then waddle my away out in the tundra.

Old Age Day by Day November 4, 2011

I'm plunking along with my Spanish lessons via Rosetta Stone.  At some point I'm going to have to attempt speaking to a live person in Spanish, and that still seems scary, but I am picking up a lot of vocabulary.  I am far enough that the program is teaching me all the little accent marks, which I usually forget to type in.  And some words seem all wrong, like cinturon for belt.  And marron for brown.  I always think maroon.  And the possessive pronouns with gender attached.  Me or my!  But the sense of being outside of myself and my normal world is delightful, and I find it hilarious to pronounce Japon or Russia.  And Americans seem to be represented mainly by cowboys and cowgirls.  Oh, and baseball players.  At least they are benign stereotypes.  What other countries think of us really would often be unfit to print. 

I live where there is a constant immersion in Spanish, at least the Mexican version.  And so many of my fellow Californians speak Spanish.  And our history involves Spain as well.  There is a familiarity with every word I learn.  Like coming home.  This may also be because I was born on the border between Texas and Mexico.  And that border is mostly artificial.  We are all Norte Americanos.  I find that fact pleasing.

Old Age Day by Day November 3, 2011

We saw Lang Lang with several friends last night, and he was pretty amazing.  He played Bach, Schubert and Chopin, and I found myself most drawn to the Schubert.  He's almost like a dancer, and his whole body is engaged.  It's similar to what our chorus director instructs us to do when we sing.  It's a dance with the words and music.  Leaving out the body puts distance between us and the music, but swaying and moving pulls us into the world of that piece.

It has taken me a long time to acknowledge my own body, give it due respect, and include it in my life.  Zen has given me that awareness, and I do believe I am so much happier for it.  Instead of warring with my body, I am now listening to it, treating it more kindly, and respecting it's gentle and sometimes not so gentle aging.  My body is my trusty friend.  It holds me in it's embrace and if it should let go, and it will sometime, I am no more.  So in the meantime, kindness in all things, and a new understanding of what the body can teach me.

Old Age Day by Day November 2, 2011

We're in the midst of a wind storm.  It brought down a huge tree two houses up, but luckily, not on the houses.  We woke up to sawing and machines.  There are huge trees on our property and on both sides, so the wind is nervous-making.  But it's better than the horrendous snowstorm on the East Coast.

Tonight we go to see Lang Lang in concert.  It should be delightful.  We are still basking in the glow of Handel's Xerxes opera on Sunday.  It was sublime.  The voices, the acting, Susan Graham, the contratenor, the sets, the costumes.  I had my voice lesson yesterday and felt improved just from a little musicality rubbing off from opera.  Unfortunately, it may not last.  But for now, I'm singing part of The Magic Flute as I walk the dogs.  We all have our fantasies.

So, on to laundry and cleaning up debris in the yard - but I can whistle while I work!

Old Age Day by Day November 1, 2011

We had exactly two children trick or treat at our door last night.  Oh, well.  We watched War of the Worlds, and then Antique Road Show.  I don't know which was scarier.  Some very valuable items are in amazingly hideous taste.  Like the cabbage teapot with the snake.  Or the cans of food from the 1800's.  On the basis of last night's show, I should search through my most hideous pieces and put them on display.  I don't think so.

I have a voice lesson today, and then my granddaughter, whom I'd like to take to Puss N' Boots, if the showtime is right.  She's a Shrek fan.  She may be too exhausted from candy and sanctioned begging at doors.  We'll see.

It figures that the scariest thing about the remake of War of the Worlds is Tim Robbins, not the hammerhead aliens.  We like to focus on the other, but it's our own species is what does us in.  And Tom Cruise is frightening as a Dad in charge of his own kids with Mommy away.  Yet he comes through, though terrified, and I think it's what we hope we'd do as well.  We have no confidence, but we hope we won't give up, no matter what, not when our kids are involved.  I like the message that heroes are not people who aren't scared, they are people who act while they're scared out of their wits.  All through the movie I was thinking of earthquakes (with the ground heaving up it was impossible not to, at least to a West Coast person) and what I would be capable of doing.  Could I stay calm?  Probably not, but I might be able to do a good imitation.  I hope I never have to be put to the test.