Old Age Day by Day February 7, 2012

My husband just made me watch the Chrysler commercial from the SuperBowl.  Clint Eastwood is pretty effective in inspiring patriotism in this one, but I cannot for the life of me see this as any kind of political ad.  What are the Republicans all het up about?  Eastwood himself is a Republican.  But he's a super patriot and he's right, he has seen many ups and downs in his eighty plus years.  He's got some perspective.  Tempest in a Teapot, as usual.  Politics as usual.

Yes, Chrysler is hoping the viewers will identify them as the underdogs and buy American.  It's an ad.  Hello.  What a shocker.

I'd like to have an ad where Meryl Streep talks about half the population is female and why don't we protect ourselves and our daughters by demanding an equal playing field, and not just at half time.  Wouldn't it be nice if patriotism meant honoring men and women equally, equal pay for equal work, supports for childbearing women with day care, nutrition and how about mentioning the poor are WOMEN.  How about patriotic guys don't hit women, or hold their children hostage, or interfere with women's bodies?  Let's have a new definition of honor in our country, and I do not mean honor killing or false sentimentality on Mother's Day. 

That's the ad I'd like to see.

OLd Age Day by Day February 6, 2012

I found a recipe for chocolate mousse that has no sugar in it.  I'm so excited to get the ingredients and make some.  It involves low fat sour cream and fat free half & half, which I didn't know existed, but I'm going to search high and low, because I have a mission, hopefully creamy and delicious.  You'd think, after six or more years of no sugar, I wouldn't miss it.  I don't miss sugar in my coffee or tea, that kind of thing, but last week I was dreaming of chocolate chip cookies, and somebody mentioned See's Candies, and then I thought of Red Velvet Cake.  My brain is evidently hard wired for sweets, and the longing, the longing, is still there.  Even though, some fruit tastes too sweet now, and I can only stand dry, dry wine, and I still have 70% cocoa chocolate.  I'm telling you honestly, sometimes I still want a Three Muskateers or Snickers.

So much for retraining the mind.  So much for being kind to my body.  I mean, I AM kind to my body, but I have fantasies of tubs of fudge and peppermint patties.  I guess I trained myself not to ingest it, but not to get it out of my brain.  Evidently,  I'm brain washed, like the rest of the population, and actually, why are we all so obcessed with food anyway?  Controlled by giant corporations who show us images that seep so deeply into our subconscious that our self preservation is lessened.  This is a horror movie that no one would watch!

In the meantime, I am eating healthily, and I do love salads, but obviously not quite enough.  I can't quite get myself to spend any fantasy time imagining them.

OLd Age Day by Day February 5, 2012

My husband has broken down and announced this morning he is watching the SuperBowl.  It's fine with me.  I've just returned from stocking up on the New York Times Book Review, The Atlantic, Sunset, More, and Poets and Writers, so I can magazine myself to pieces.  It's also a beautiful day out, almost like summer, so a walk wouldn't be amiss.  This strange weather in February is actually classic for here.  When I lived a mile from the ocean, we'd get this summer days and all run out in our bathing suits and revel in the taste of summer.  Then it would be back to rain and fog and our usual winter.  When I first moved back from Colorado, and I summer clothes put away and winter out.  I quickly realized it's summer one day and winter the next.  The closet must be all season.  The only thing I store is snow clothes, up at the cabin, because we don't need wool and down parkas and gloves down here.  We just need a sense of humor and a flexible nature.

So, as I read up on getting rid of belly fat, new books I will never read, plants that would look nice in our yard if we didn't have two lummoxy dogs who demolish all plant life, and what awards I will not be applying for are out there in the literary community, I will block the roar of the television and my husband's attempts to pull me in to see the ads.  Today is summer and the only appropriate sport is baseball, which is not yet possible to watch.

Old Age Day by Day February 4, 2012

I had a nice day yesterday with three different friends.  I took a walk with one, had lunch and shopped with another and had the third over for dinner.  I love the retirement life, when I am free almost anytime and can get together so easily.  And all three of these friends are within walking distance of me.  I cannot imagine moving away from all this support and warm friendship, because the most important thing to me is these people.  Last night, I was inquiring about a neighbor, who recently lost her husband, and my friend told me she has downsized, buying a house much smaller with a tiny yard, and selling her big house to her daughter.  But she carefully bought only five streets away, so that she is still able to walk to her friends' houses and the post office and bank and grocery market, etc.  She knows she needs to keep in her loving circle, but now she has a one story house and will have much less maintenance. 

I've known several neighbors who moved away to "retire" and regretted it.  The ones who've stayed around are happier and walking more and have buddies to go to art museums and tea and trade cuttings from plants.  It's tempting to think of living by the ocean or high up with a view or deep in a beautiful forest, but is it wise?  Everyone's answer may be different, but for me, what holds me upright are my friends.

Old Age Day by Day February 3, 2012

Our younger son just bought a classic car - a red corvair.  It's pretty cute, and so roomy inside.  It's reconditioned and repainted and looks like new.  My brother likes classics as well, and my husband had an old MG for many years.  It's a guy thing generally, though I have one friend and also my Buddhist teacher whose eyes sparkle just talking about those kinds of cars.  Me, I've always been in the tank mentality - something to keep me from being crushed.  I drive a Volvo.  So I never have a snazzy car or even color of car, but I believe I do the same thing with shoes.  Show me a gaudy pair of shoes and desire overwhelms me.  Yes, I have plain old black shoes, but I also have greens, aquas, and reds.  I have hibiscus Danskos and moss green sandals.  And they perk me right up when it's a gray day or I have a doctor's appointment or I want to celebrate.

So I understand the power of not being sensible.  It's an absolute necessity at times.  We all need to strutt our stuff and jump for joy and get down and boogie.  Goofiness is essential in this world.

Old Age Day by Day February 2, 2012

Today is our older son's birthday, and he is in London, so we can only hope to reach him at the end of his day, as he is going out to dinner with friends.  We will celebrate in March, when he returns.  It is such a gift to see him grow and make his life choices and witness his interests and joys and sorrows.  He's on his own, but with us watching and wishing him well.  I'm sorry he's not with his wife, and she will have her birthday later this month without him, but they have this goal that requires sacrifice.  He will soon have his Phd and she her MA and teaching certificate, and they will be teachers in new and different ways from their past.  What a priviledge to see them grow and change and define themselves.

I think of our son as a baby and young child, somehow already himself, seen only on looking back.  I remember his soccer, his interest in platetechtonics, his debate team, his french horn.  His passion for learning has been there from the earliest time, and his desire for research and looking in depth at the world.  I'm happy his field includes learning more about his father and that family line, and also takes him out of his home culture and into others.  I'm proud of how kind and loving he is, and how many friends he has.  I appreciate his sensitivity with us and everyone.  As I was saying to my friend this morning, he is the Year of the Monkey, and his playfulness is at the center of his being.  He loves word play, silliness and teasing.  He makes me laugh.  He's brought great joy to us, as have all the kids, but he's the oldest so he's gifted us with it the longest.  We wish him joy.

Old Age Day by Day February 1, 2012

Our son came over last night after work to look at some stuff of his we'd found in the basement, and ended up watching some of "Stuart Little' that I and my foster granddaughter were viewing.  Then she got picked up and we ordered pizza and watched "Rise of the Apes", the prequel to "Planet of the Apes".  It's a pretty amazing film, thought provoking and beautifully edited.  Andy Serkis, who plays Caesar, the head ape, is deserving of an Oscar nod, or a new category, or something.  It's one of these films you write off the minute you hear about it, but the buzz is so good that reluctantly, when it comes out on DVD you think, why not? and then you're blown away, because it truly makes the whole series have new depth and meaning.

After that I forgot to call someone with whom I was going to a movie today, and didn't think of it until I was with my husband, walking the dogs around a reservoir.  Oh, dear, I am getting elderly.  There is no doubt of it.  We saw 17 pelicans by the water, cormorants and quite a few other birds.  The pelicans have black wingtips, and are freshwater, so they don't dive dramatically like ocean birds, but herd the fish with the help of the cormorants, and then pluck them out of the water.  They seemed to be resting when we went by, waiting for another strategic onslaught when their energy rose again.

I know the feeling.