Old Age Daky by Day June 11, 2012

All righty, then...I've vacuumed, shopped, arranged flowers and I might even sweep the front steps, since the gardener did not deign to show.  Company - ready when you are!  I haven't overeaten yet, as I haven't had time.  I'd better get right on that!  It's a gorgeous day and hot, which I love, and I intend to sit on the patio and read shortly.  I take retirement very seriously.

In the back of my mind is Syria, and how we won't help right now because of the coming American elections.  Just when you think your view is sufficiently cynical and jaded, something new pops up.  I don't want us to do any unilateral thing, and maybe China and Russia really just won't budge, but the news is so disturbing and relentless, and all I can do is pray for some kind of miracle cease-fire or ending that I can't now imagine.  All the callus calculations, and innocents bombarded, trapped behind lines and with no hope.  My husband and I have been sending money to Doctors Without Borders and the Red Cross.  But can they even get in and help?  It doesn't look like it.  I'm sick at heart, and it creates a bizarre split in my every day life.  My peaceful life is precious, but at what cost?

Old Age Day by Day June 10, 2012

I've had a quiet day with meditation, dharma talk, lunch with a Buddhist buddy, then reading in the back yard.  I feel sleepy right now, and I don't know if it is from sitting in the sun at my friend's place or getting up with the dogs at 4 am or a long day yesterday going to a winery and tasting and getting home late.  Maybe I'm just relaxed.  I'd like to nap but it's a bit too late for that.  I'll have to hang on and get to bed early.  Tomorrow our friends arrive and I will do some grocery shopping, vacuuming and the like.  So I guess I'll string out this lazy feeling and float about in it.

This is a real Sunday, with nothing going on and nothing accomplished.  It's good to have those days once in a while, and get off the ferris wheel.  The week will be busy, but right now it's like there is all the time in the world.  I might even read the parts of the Sunday paper I missed.

Old Age Day by Day June 9, 2012

I planted geraniums and pulled out a few deceased plants and got myself dirty and sweaty - very satisfying.  Part of my impulse to beautify is, of course, that guests are coming for five days next week.  Nothing gets me inspired like panic.  I only clean when it is a matter of imminent humiliation.  Luckily, I have this gift:  I pick up stuff.  I carry the stuff at the bottom of the stairs upstairs, I straighten pillows and rugs, I put away books and magazines.  So I get credited with having a clean house when really it is just there is nothing out of place.  If you actually were to pull out a book, and I wouldn't recommend it, you would notice dust coating the top.  If you focused on the rug, you'd see it badly needed vacuuming.  It's amazing to me what straightening up does for a place. 

I think the origin of this was my immaculate mother, who both straightened and cleaned.  But I got compulsive when the kids were little and I just wanted one room not to be filled with legos and playmobil figures to step on.  I made sure there was one place to sit where I didn't feel I was in the middle of a toy store that had been bombed.  But now it's gone beyond that.  I actually open the door to my guest bedroom and stare at the neatness.  The sheets are clean, the bed is made, not a thing is out of place.  Then I go into the other rooms and pick up dog toys, grab handfuls of dog hair from the corners, and take a load of magazines to the recycling bin.  I know that getting out the vacuum would be wise, and the dust cloth and spider web extendable brush, but that really doesn't appeal to me.  And really, in soft focus,  the house looks pretty damned good.

Old Age Day by Day June 8, 2012

We had a lovely dinner with our oldest and youngest last night.  I love best these more spontaneous, casual get-togethers, and they are rare, because everyone is so busy.  It was a balmy evening, and the next few days are supposed to be warm, which I love.  I'm wearing a skirt and sandals, to celebrate.  Today I have lunch with a friend, and maybe I'll see the new Wes Anderson film, "Moonrise Kingdom".  His movies are always interesting.  And I want to buy geraniums.  It's just what the patio needs more of.  I've been frying azaleas out there, and yesterday I kindly put them in shady pots in the front.  So a few hearty geraniums should survive well during this season.

I'm disappointed I'll Have Another is scratched from the Belmont Stakes.  I had a good feeling about him.  No Triple Crown winner this year.  And Cespedes is out with an injury as well.  Oh, dear, these athletes, hooved or human, are struggling.  Me, I try not to stumble on my own stairs, watch where I'm going, and not trip over any dogs in dark corners.  That's as far as my athleticism extends.  I'm a fan, but never was any good at being the activist.  I like to walk best, and used to bike a bit, but sports were difficult for me.  I let a softball hit my face while in the outfield, tennis was tricky because I'm left handed, swimming not so good because I only like to dog paddle, volleyball and basketball a joke because I'm 5' tall, and gymnastics - well, heights are not my thing.  I could be decent in modern dance, and in college I played field hockey and golf.  Briefly.  After that, it was all running after toddlers.  So I admire those with physical gifts, and also the courage it takes to be in a sport.

Oh, well, I'll have to see the movie "Secretariat" again, I guess.  And hope the horse and the powerhouse heal quickly.

Old Age Day by Day June 7, 2012

It sounds like Ray Bradbury had a life filled with joy and challenges and positive response to his writing.  He seems to have loved many people and had many interests, and his childlike playfulness never left him, indeed he treasured his boyhood self and used material from it for his stories.  I remember first reading the "Martian Chronicles" and "Farenheit 451" and having goosebumps.  He was speaking to me politically, creatively and with such empathy and heart.  I'm glad he lived a long interesting life, and had so much fun.  He's one of those who transcended the genre, as they say.  I never liked sci fi, or fantasy, yet I read everything he ever wrote.  I adore the film of 451 and have images of it burned into my consciousness.  I remember watching the Chronicles on TV, and feeling it was a major event.  And now knowing how heartfelt and compassionate he was makes me feel I sensed that as well in his writing.

Mr. Emperio (who at a fair tapped him with a sword and predicted his immortality) maybe didn't succeed in making him live forever, but Bradbury's writing certainly will.

Old Age Day by Day June 6, 2012

Yesterday I held my granddaughter's baby sister.  She's perfect.  Chubby and beautiful, and calm and healthy.  They looked like one bonded, happy family together.  Their joy is contagious.  I could feel the weight and feel of her for hours after.  Then we watched "Coriolanus" when I returned, which was quite a switch.  Ralph Fiennes did a terrific job directing and acting in the Shakespeare play.  Vanessa Redgrave was fabulous as his Lady Macbeth type of mother.  Seeing it caused my husband and I to have a long discussion about the psychology of politics and him to read me a critique of the play from his undergraduate book of Shakespeare.  We had fun analyzing the play and film.

Today I'm going to work on two scrapbooks to fill with my granddaughters' art work.  I want to keep it protected, and be able to show them when they visit.  And perhaps I'll walk the dogs.  What a luxurious life I lead!

Old Age Day by Day June 5, 2012

I had a nice few days up in the mountains.  The weather was perfect until the day we left, when a rainstorm hit as we were leaving.  We did nothing but walk the dogs, read on the deck, play Scrabble and eat.  My mind dropped down about ten levels.  I was in luck, too, because my mysteries were riveting, and I lost myself in the best sense.  I really do relax at the cabin, despite the dogs acting up at night and getting spooked and wanted to be fed at dawn.  Perhaps I don't sleep nearly as well up there, but my whole body just flops.  I'm a great believer in flopping. 

So now I get to see my foster granddaughter's baby sister today, and plan a trip up north to see our son, and work on getting both granddaughters' scrapbooks for art and the ordinary stuff of daily life.  I like that as well as getting away, and finding the balance is the trick, isn't it?