Old Age Day by Day June 21, 2012

My friend and I had a fun day yesterday, seeing Spanish gardens and shops and eating outside in the gardens, seeing an art museum and walking the sculpture gardens, with a massive Richard Serra and a wall by Andy Goldsworthy, and shopping for a blouse for her for a memorial service.  I even ended up getting a tee shirt.  It was hot, but we were intrepid, and when I got home my husband told me the happy news that our younger daughter's boyfriend had been promoted to manager of one of the largest cafes in the group, and it's easy access by subway.  So we four went out to dinner and had champagne and a great dinner.  It was delightful to see them so proud and excited.

Today my foster granddaughter and I are going out taking photos with our cameras in a botanical garden, and that will be fun.  She's post baby sister, but her best friend is moving many states away at the end of this week, so I think we'll have stuff to talk about.  We're good at discussing. 

Tomorrow I will do laundry and start packing for my road trip with my daughter.  More fun!

Old Age Day by Day June 20, 2012

Today is my foster granddaughter's birthday.  She's seven.  I'm taking her out tomorrow for the afternoon.  Gosh, it's gone by fast, and she's a girl girl now, not a little girl.  We have serious conversations, and share interests and critique movies.  She's a great pal. 

I'm off to adventures with a friend today.  We are seeing gardens and an art museum, and generally whooping it up.  It's a perfect day to be outside admiring gardens.  Though any day doing that activity is fine with me.

Old Age Day by Day June 19, 2012

It is a sunnier, warmer day today.  Yesterday, with the fog and chill, I took myself to a matinee and saw "Moonrise Kingdom" by Wes Anderson.  It reminded me a lot of "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" and featured all his usual themes:  depressed teenagers, disfunctional, oblivious parents, an obcession with maps and graphics and a nostalgia for a time when he wasn't alive.  His genius is for set design, soundtracks and goofy, deadpan humor.  The overprivledged kids in his films are getting old, and nobody will be fooled by the fact that one of them is an orphan.  However, how can you go too wrong with Edward Norton, Frances McDormand and Bruce Willis?  I'm tired of Bill Murray in his films, always playing THE DAD, and Tilda Swinton is used so minimally that it's a crime.  The two main kids are good, and you root for them, but Bob Balaban as the chorus/narrator is the best thing in it.  He's like a leprecaun in a red coat.  Ultimately, the movie is shallow, but like child's painting come alive, it has its magic.

Old Age Day by Day June 18, 2012

We had a great time with our Chicago friends, and on last Thursday we drove to the seashore, had a picnic and saw a lighthouse.  We all got along in the car, and were highly compatible the long day.  Their daughter had a plan, and we happily followed it.  The weather was beautiful, except for gale level winds at the lighthouse, but even that was kind of fun.  We were all exhausted after, but it was good tiredness.

On Saturday night we celebrated with friends their 50th wedding anniversary, and I cried throughout the little ceremony they wrote for each other.  Their two sons, daughters-in-law, and four grandchildren were there, and it was so joyous and fun.  We had great food, danced, and were the last out the door.  Even the 100o heat didn't slow us down.  We were out on the deck, watching the sunset, meeting their friends, and laughing at the kids dancing with those light necklaces.  Very sweet.

So, this week is quieter, and I appreciate that, but there is still a happy glow remembering all the fun last week, capped by a baseball game for Father's Day.  Yeah, we lost, but just barely, and the tacos and peanuts were perfect.

Old Age Day by Day June 14, 2012

We're having a great time with our friends, and are off today for picnic and a hike on the ocean.  Hope the winds don't come up.  The dogs are in heaven, because they are getting lots of attention.  All's right with the world.  I'm looking forward to the rest of their visit, a big 50th anniversary party Saturday night and a baseball game Sunday for Father's Day.  I wish my Dad could be there for that.  He infused us with a love of the sport, and took us to countless Giants games, and loved the A's when they moved here as well, because they came from his beloved Kansas City.  He would get a kick out of his grown grandchildren, and I miss his goofy, gaptoothed grin.  He had a big heart, and the passion and drive to live, but he could surpass his final challenge, cancer, but he met it with grace and dignity. 

This whole summer already seems overly full, but I'm going to take deep breaths and slowly enjoy each day without jumping to the next thing.  No "rehearsing" as we call it in Buddhism.  No "future thinking".  Stay in the present, don't worry about the past, and enjoy the gift of life.  I believe my father did that very well, without the dharma talks.  I hope to do likewise.

Old Age Day by Day June 13, 2012

My foster granddaughter and I went to see Madagascar 3 yesterday afternoon.  The things we do for love!  She enjoyed every minute.  But she was too stuffed with popcorn to want dinner, so we dropped her off right after.  I, however, ate dinner just the same.  Oh, dear.  At least it was healthy, but really, half a bag of popcorn is not in my meal plan.  Today our friends will be back and I'm cooking fish and veggies and a big salad.  I must be good, must be, must be.

I finished another book by this mystery writer Linwood Barclay, who is both hilarious and intricately plotted, and he gets me hooked every time.  He sets his mysteries in the suburbs of upper New York state, and these are the most scary places imaginable, where crime reigns and nobody is who they say they are.  He's so good with his doofus dad character, the cynical mom and the nightmare risk taking teenage children, that you keep recognizing the family and being endeared to them at the same time as you want to ring their necks for the dumb things they try.  He's got the parents' worry over teenage stupidity down pat.  For light summer reading, I don't think he can be beat.

At the same time I'm knee deep in mysteries, my husband is reading sci fi like there's no tomorrow, and he's been telling me the plots of the China Mieville books he's into right now.  Sounds like the guy is brilliant, and his language is gorgeous and maybe, just maybe, I'll try one of them one of these days. 

Our friends arrived, after being a little bit lost, and it was as if we'd seen them the day before.  It feels great to catch up and have them out here.  My parents had lots of visits from family and friends, because after their first five years, they lived away from home and moved a few times.  They moved to places people wanted to visit, so that helped as well.  I loved when people came and stayed, and can still remember standing at the front door, teary eyed, as we said goodbye when visitors left.  It was a positive experience for me as a child.  The effort my parents made to keep connected was a great model for me, and I especially appreciate it because my husband did not have that experience.  So he has anxiety around visitors, but still loves having them.

I admire the way our kids have made such a great effort to keep in contact with their friends, and I think my parents made that possible.  It is what you prioritize that shows your values, and friends were always up there at the top in my world.  Mom and Dad, thanks.