Old Age Day by Day August 14, 2012

Good lord almighty!  I had an appointment this morning at the DMV to renew my driver's license at eight am, and the computers were down.  After 2 1/2 hours I left, and must redo the appointment and everything.  Nothing accomplished!  Every one was texting so I had no one to talk to and no book, so I meditated.  I gave up so I could come home and walk the dogs.  I was so nervous last night I slept poorly, and the dogs were barking all night long about some animal in the back yard.  I'm exhausted.  To top it all off, my daughter canceled lunch, so I'm on my own.  I am going with a friend to a movie tonight, so the day is not totally a waste. 

What I'm proud of is my patience at the DMV.  I saw a few badly behaved white men, but everyone else was polite and quiet and good natured.  The entire state computer system is down, so there was no one to blame and nothing to do but wait as long as possible and then leave.  I felt generally proud of my fellow humans.  The only time I was irritated a bit was the TV cameraman who was shooting.  I turned my head away each time.  I did not feel like being on the news.  Not until I win the Nobel Prize for Literature, and then I will be supremely gracious.  Though I admit liking Doris Lessing's grumpiness when she won.  She had the nerve to not be very grateful, and act like a man.  Good for her1

Old Age Day by Day August 13, 2012

My husband is up at our cabin and I'm here with the dogs.  In a long marriage, most people need a bit of separation.  We're lucky, we have the cabin to get away from each other, reflect and regroup.  Lately, he's been the one to go up, but in the past, I've spent a month up there by myself.  I'm always tempted, but this week I have appointments and things to do.  He will be back in a couple of days, but in the meantime, we get a break, and come back together appreciating each other more.  I really like being alone, my husband doesn't.  I find plenty to do, he tends to brood.  It's tricky, this marriage business, and requires a lot of adjustments, constantly.  It's a dance, and sometimes we're dancing alone, and sometimes together.  I like dancing all by myself, or with a bunch of girlfriends.  He will only dance with me.  That's fine, as long as we respect each other.

Old Age Day by Day August 12, 2012

I just received photos of my granddaughter at a three different birthday parties and also three snaps of her "wedding" to her boyfriend.  They are irresistably adorable, and she makes a mighty pretty bride.  It's fun to see her dressed up and how grown up she looks.  I'll see her in person in a couple of weeks, but what a treat for me, coming back from meditation.  I had some good talks today with people at the temple, and actually gave my email to one woman, who lives a couple of hours away, but came to hear our teacher.  We clicked, and had a great time talking.  The man on the other side of me was wonderful, too, and we talked about length of meditation and other things, and I felt very comfortable wedged between them.  Our teacher shared and epiphany he had yesterday, and it was sweet to hear his story.  He had a yogi from Tibet with him as a guest, and he was wonderful.  His posture was lovely, and when he stood later, he was tall and big, just completely striking.

My teacher ended with a joke.  He probably laughed the most himself, but we were all delighted.  There was a disaster, a flood, and ten people needed rescuing.  Nine were men and one was a woman.  The helicopter pilot got a rope to them, but it was beginning to fray.  He yelled that one person needed to sacrifice himself so the others could be saved.  A man responded his wife could be the sacrifice, as she was used to it anyway.  The nine men were happy, they all clapped.

Old Age Day by Day August 11, 2012

Yesterday was a feast of trying to catch minnows, making sand castles, playing with kittens and doing what seven year olds like to do.  It was a summery day, and we had fun at a lake and then at my friend's house with her kittens.  Lastly, we went inside for a movie and my granddaughter laughed her head off, so that was successful as well.  Having not seen the first three "Ice Age" s was no detriment whatsoever.  I got the plot instantly.  The silliness is what my granddaughter appreciated.  It even had a good message, which was pointless for a seven year old, since it was more about teens needing to try their wings.  My granddaughter thinks I can get up and leave her while I buy her a water, and I said she must come with me, that I couldn't leave her in the theater, and, in the end, we didn't get the water, but I did tell her parents to help me explain why it was not okay to leave her alone, even for a minute.  So maybe she already has the teen independence, but it's a bit premature.  She also was jumping from escalators, for which I did not rat her out, I just tackled that one myself.  She wanted to go down the up escalator as well, and saw some boys doing it, but I was firm on that.  We also had long discussions about her wanting a cat, and her parents' refusal, and my explaining they had a new baby and enough to deal with was chatter on deaf ears.  SHE would do all the taking care of the pet.  What about driving to the vet?  I asked.  No answer.  We compromised by agreeing to visit my friend's kitties again and me seeing if there is an afterschool program for caring for animals at any local shelter.  I know a friend who volunteers at a shelter and could give her a tour, at least.

So I returned home at seven pm, exhausted, with takeout, and my husband and I watched a movie.  And it was not a cartoon!

Old Age Day by Day August 10, 2012

I'm off soon to pick up my foster granddaughter for a day at the lake.  It's hot and a perfect day for swimming.  Usually, the weather makes my plans change with her, but not today.  The temperature is cooperating nicely.  Soon she'll be back in school, so it's great to have a last fling.  I haven't seen her in a month, as she and her family have been gone, so I've worked up a mighty yearning to spend time with my seven year old sweetie.  And in a week or so I'll see my four year old granddaughter.  An embarassment of little girls.  I love it!

My husband is keeping me up to date on the Olympics, and has actually gotten me in for a few moments at a time to see track races, hurdles and the decatholon.  I would have seen women's soccer, but had an appointment yesterday, so he went over to our daughter's house and watched with her.  The jumping really gets me as well.  So hard to fling one's body like a missle.  It takes a lot of letting go.  It also makes a good image for visualization.

I'm slowly reading a mystery by Tana French, "Broken Harbor", about a murder, a broken family, and the detective who can't quite see how broken he is, and so botches the case.  It's thoroughly Irish, and the underlying theme is about the recent economic collapse, especially housing, over there.  French is a great writer, and takes her time, because her characters have so much depth and we really empathize with them.  It's such a complicated plot that I cannot rush, which is good for me.  So if I'm exhausted after my granddaughter, I can sink into my book.

Old Age Day by Day August 9, 2012

I had a nice dinner last night with a friend.  We caught up and then some.  The time just flies these days, and friends' birthdays pass and I'm on to the next before I know it.  I like to get out of the house.  When I'm home, I'm responsible for dinner, and frankly, dinner is not of much interest to me these days.  Lunch is when I'm hungry, and sometimes late afternoon.  If I was by myself, I'd snack and skip dinner.  My husband still likes dinner and is starved, and in that we are incompatible.  No biggie, but I'd like to eat more when I feel like it, and I might like dinner more if someone else did it.  My husband is great with BLTs and grilled cheese sandwiches.  That's it, end of story.  If I can't face the kitchen, we go out or pick up take out. 

Now you can say I had dinner out last night, and technically, that's true.  But it was at one of those places with four beets the size of peas and a tiny pool of sauce and a couple of greens.  Some items were too small to identify.  We shared a pizza as well, which was visible, but thin and well, the whole thing was about the amount of one regular slice, or less.  I did have a beer.  But we ate light, more like snacking, and the kind of place my husband hates because he's still hungry afterward.  He doesn't understand presentation.  Not a bit. 

For me, it was all about the conversation, and taking a long time to eat a very little, and the surprise of finding out the small little white carrots were actually scallops.  Who knew?  Baby scallops, I guess, young enough that they still should have been accompanied by their mother.  Dear reader, I ate them.  Mea culpa.

Old Age Day by Day August 8, 2012

My husband, younger daughter and I went to see a Man Ray/Lee Miller show at an art museum, and really enjoyed it.  There were lots of gorgeous photographs and interesting material.  Lee Miller was quite talented, and Man Ray a genius.  Surrealism is endlessly fascinating to me, and I bought the catalogue for the show, plus a book about the Farley Farm where Lee Miller and her husband Roland Portesque lived with their son.  I love those art deco/Bloomsbury/surreal rooms with bright walls and goofy clutter.  I love painted furniture.  I'd have made a great Bell daughter. 

Now I'm super sleepy.  I need a nap.  Maybe too much stimulation and now I'm exhausted.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll dream a surrealistic dream and wake up in a room that is tangerine walls and a Magritte over the fireplace.