Old Age Day by Day September 9, 2012

We got rid of our old sofa yesterday, with the help of our younger son.  He found two young women who were happy to have it and also owned a pickup truck.  The other stuff I put out on the curb was snatched up within a couple of hours, so a lot of people are happy.  Now I can walk in my front hall instead of maneuvering myself around a large green object.  Everything seems so spacious!

Today I have meditation then a neighborhood meeting in the afternoon.  I'm reading the new Louise Penny mystery, so I'm a happy camper.  The weather is still beautiful, but with the fall tinge and cooler morning and evening.  I'm going to hang on to the idea of September as long as I can.  I won't call the season fall until October.

Old Age Day by Day September 8, 2012

Last night I sat down and watched Michelle Obama's DNC speech on YouTube.  It was heartfelt and near to exactly how I feel about my working class upbringing, yet, afterward, I was depressed.  Because she told the truth about how hard life often is, and I don't think any voters are going to want to hear it.  Then I watched Gabby Giffords lead the pledge of allegiance, and that deeply depressed me.  That a kid could destroy such a wonderful, intelligent, vibrant woman is horrible, horrible. 

So then my husband and I played Scrabble, and I won, but it didn't help, and the jobs report is not so good, and blah! 

Old Age Day by Day September 7, 2012

My morning began with a friend and her husband singing happy birthday over the phone at eight am.  They made me laugh, my favorite thing to do.  I'm having lunch with a couple of friends, and then my husband and I are going to take a walk and just go with the flow.  I've had my party, so I'm content with appreciating the beautiful fall day.  I just finished walking the dogs, and my step was springy, despite my advanced years.  It's amazing to be alive, and don't think I don't appreciate it!

My husband and I, sentimentalists that we are, watched Biden and Obama's speeches last night, and felt proud and hopeful.  I loved Obama's mention of citizenship, which is something I like to talk about in regards to teaching.  I often say my responsibility as a teacher is to help develop good citizenship:  critical thinking, knowledge of history, communications skills and compassion and interconnectivity.  I'm not teaching to create jobs.  I'm teaching to nurture good human beings.  I feel a theme of this convention is taken from Hillary Clinton:  It takes a village. 

It's about time someone emphasized interdependence, not the myth of the lone cowpoke beholden to no one.  Because our relationships run our lives and hearts and minds.  We are social animals.  It's good to hear people speak proudly of it.

Old Age Day by Day September 6, 2012

I got my eye doctor's form into the DMV this morning.  So now all I have to do is take the driving test later in the month and I'm fine.  I can drive until then.  Big relief.  I actually like the staff at the DMV.  I know, that makes me suspect for for dementia, but really, despite waiting many hours, or maybe because of it, I appreciate how good natured, professional, and organized they are.  There are just large, and I mean large, numbers of people they have to deal with.  So, though I've spent a total of five hours there already, I can't complain.  The office seems to be well run. 

I watched the speeches at the Democratic Convention last night on TV.  I said I wouldn't but succumbed.  Elizabeth Warren had me at corporations are not people.  Clinton, the ole snake charmer himself, was brilliant, and made some issues crystal clear for me.  I actually felt I understood better after listening to him.  So it was a positive experience for me.  Surprise, surprise. 

Now I'm off to fritter away the rest of my day eating lunch with a friend and doing my once-a-month therapy.  Me time.  I actually, embarassingly enough, get tons of me time.  I'm a lucky person.

Old Age Day by Day September 5, 2012

We went out to dinner last night with our younger daughter, her boyfriend, and his parents, here from the East Coast.  At this point in time, we're getting more comfortable with each other, and it was good to see them again.  On the other hand, there is something to this East Coast/West Coast thing that makes us not quite understand each other.  I went to a writer's conference in New York years ago, and that was when I first got it - that there is some kind of nebulous, generic thing about each coast that the other believes.  And there are differences.  The idea of what diversity means is different.  The sense of property and what that means seems contrary.  The contempt of easterners for western history is at odds. 

I was recently speaking to someone who lives on the west coast but grew up on the east coast, and he bemoaned the lack of history in America, and the richness of European history.  A lot of us westerners see our history in terms of Native peoples, and our architectural sites as Mesa Verde, Canyon de Chelle, the Cakokia mounds in Missouri, the sacred mountains and lakes.  So there is plenty here to tourist around and see, but it isn't European, or imitation European, like Washington DC and New York.  There's a sense of classlessness, too in the west, whereas people in the east want to "place" you, and are frustrated.  Westerners tend to be nomadic, at their base, and Easterners more rooted.  They take pride in their cities, we in our natural wonders:  Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Crater Lake, the Painted Desert.

Well, that's enough generalizing for one day, my apologies.

Old Age Day by Day September 4m 2012

My husband survived his birthday just fine.  We went out to lunch, and he bought two puzzles, and we went home and watched "The Hunger Games" which we had just bought.  My husband has read the book and seen the movie, I hadn't.  The movie is gripping enough, but the thought of this spectacle of children fighting repelled me, yet afterward, I saw the power of the metaphor.  Western sports is like the sacrifice of children for money and food.  They are damaged young, some die, others are psychically maimed by the sport they play.  So it has value, but the teens who watch this movie are not going to get any of that at all, is my guess.  They are going to see the glamor of the violence.  Anyway, it was a lot to think about.

Then my husband went to his first chorus rehearsal and I talked to two friends on the phone and then read my book "Half Blood Blues", a terrific read about jazz musicians in Europe right before World War II.  It's got a jazzy, flowy narrative and indeliable characters.  Fun.

Now, off to the dentist for a filling.  Oh, joy.

Old Age Day by Day September 3, 2012

I'm in a great mood:  it's my husband's birthday today, my kids had a terrific surprise birthday party with many of my friends last night, and we put our daughter and granddaughter safely on the plane to go home after a lovely week's visit.  I was feeling a bit sorry for myself before, and worried about a bunch of stuff I have no control over, and knew I was spinning my wheels for no reason, yet couldn't quite take my foot off the pedal.  Now I have survived the last swim for the season at the cabin, which always makes me sad, and accepted that I'm older than I ever dreamed possible, and just tackling the issue of whether I can get my eye doctor's okay for my driver's license renewal.  Every time I think of not driving I feel fearful of the big changes it will cause in my life.  But I'll walk and bus everywhere if I have to, and what is more important is that I can see well enough out of my good eye to read, write and do all the normal things, and yes, I drive fine, too.  We'll see if the DMV agrees.

So this is my husband's and my birthday week, and we're in good health, have healthy family, many friends and a comfortable lifestyle.  Change is hard, but it does bring rewards, and gratitude is something I find in abundance these days.  At least mostly I do.  And in this moment I am so touched by my blessings.