Old Age Day by Day October 16, 2012

Did I mention I'm sick of being locked upstairs like Rochester's crazy wife?  No?  Well I can't wait to put the furniture back and COOK something in my kitchen and not look at a garage sale inside my abode.  It's beautiful outside, real Indian summer, and I've already taken a walk and will again before the day is out.  Hopefully, tomorrow evening my husband and dogs will be back and the place will be habitable.  I read a People magazine yesterday that I bought with my OWN money, that's how low I've sunk.  It was just as bad as I had remembered, but now I know what Anne Hathaway's bridal gown looked like.  I'm enriched.

I saw a good movie last night, British, made in 2011, with a great cast:  Rachel Weiz, Bill Nighy, Michael Gambon, Alice Krige, Judy Davis and more.  It was a political thriller where the Prime Minister, played by Ralph Finnes, is the bad guy.  Judy Davis has aged a whole lot, and I always wished she had gotten better parts.  She's a brilliant actress.  And she was beautiful, in her prime, but she never played the beauty, she was always a character actress.  I love her deep voice and ability to unravel before your eyes.  Anyway, it's titled "Page Eight", and it's nail biting fun.

Old Age Day by Day October 15, 2012

The last coat on the floor is going on.  I may make it through this process.  I'm thinking of my trip Friday to see my granddaughter and celebrate my daughter's birthday, and letting that positive excitement outweigh the chaos in the house.  Yesterday I managed to be out all day with two friends, and even saw another movie, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", which my friend and I thought was terrific.  It sure made me think of my high school years, and all the pain and suffering and confusion and hope and dread they contained.  It's a beautiful screenplay, and super well acted.  Today I have invented some errands for myself and will take myself out to lunch. 

Yesterday I really had a lot of fun shopping for salwar kamizes in Indian shops.  My friend is going to work in a clinic in Mysore for a couple of weeks, so she needs cool, loose clothes.  We found two good choices at one shop and another one in the second shop, so she's set.  In the process we saw gorgeous saris and scarves and jewelry.  I resisted all temptation and didn't buy anything, especially since I wouldn't wear them for a long time if ever.  I already have several lovely outfits.  But it was like entering fairyland, with sparkles, sequins and bright colors.  I may go again, just for therapy.

Old Age Day by Day October 14, 2012

I am pretty sick of the stink in the house, being confined to two rooms upstairs, and eating fruit and V8.  I got away a good bit yesterday, first to my study group, then to a movie by myself.  "Argo" lives up to the hype.  It really is funny, tense and surprising.  Today I'm going out to breakfast with my friend and then shopping, and this afternoon a movie with another friend and then dinner.  Tomorrow morning is the last coat on the floor, and hopefully, in the forseeable future I'll see my banished husband and dogs.  It seems to be raining right now, though both newspapers said it would not.  No chance, no percentage. 

I watched "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" last night with Charles Laughton and Maureen O'Hara.  It's a pretty gorgeous movie and interesting in terms of ideas.  As a kid, I adored Victor Hugo and Alexandre Dumas.  I read abridged versions of "Hunchback", "Les Miserables", "The Count of Monte Christo" and "The Man in the Iron Mask".  I was destined to take French in high school, and my love for very dramatic French literature is equaled only by my love of Dickens.  I love the political mixed in with romance and told from the point of view of the underclasses.  I'm a revoluntionary by impulse, though tempered now with a huge dose of reality and cynicism.  It's not that simple.  Yesterday, in study group, we talked a bit about dualism, and I outgrew that world view quite a long time ago.  Yet many are trapped in it.  Read the political news.  Okay, I admit I'm grumpy.

Old Age Day by Day October 12, 2012

My team lost.  I'm a little blue.  But proud of them and they lost against the best pitcher in baseball.  I avoided the VP debate, just so I wouldn't get too down.  Not because I thought Biden would do badly, but because the discourse and the way the media view it is upsetting to me.  Instead I read magazines, after I had dinner with my younger daughter, and calmed down after a maddening day with the refrigerator.  I'm about to go back to big blocks of ice in an ice chest in the basement.  So now everything with the floors is off a day and we won't get back on them until Wednesday.  Big headache, but we'll survive.  My husband is banished with the dogs at the cabin.  I'm holding the fort here, even though I'm the Indian. 

Today I can at least get out, and am having dinner with a friend up the street, so that's good.  Today also, our younger son is making an offer on a sweet little house, and I have my fingers crossed for him.  I have maturely moved on from the baseball season.  Almost.

Old Age Day by Day October 11, 2012

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.  We moved a bunch of stuff out of two rooms and when the people came to fix our kitchen and dining room floors the refrigerator was STILL leaking after us supposedly fixing it a year ago.  So I have to get the guy here again, pray he can fix it today and everything is moved back.  This refrigerator has driven me crazy.  It's only 14 years old.  Is that how long they are supposed to last? 

On the laughing end, the A's are even with Detroit after an amazing ninth inning save, so tonight is the clincher.  Whoever wins goes on.  I think I'm almost as nervous about the game as the catastrophe in the kitchen!  Oh, well, deep breaths and maybe some prayers.

Old Age Day by Day October 10, 2012

I'm not exactly sure what to do with my granddaughter this afternoon.  It's overcast and we have done the Halloween thing already, chosen our pumpkins, bought decorations.  No movies are out that are remotely suitable for a seven year old.  We could walk to the pet store, and mosey around the toy store, and get her a cookie at the bakery.  Well, she may have an idea.  Her mom since a two minute video of my granddaughter reading to her four month old sister, and the sister is staring at her own hands, fascinated and cross eyed.  It's pretty funny.  My granddaughter tries to put her hands down, but up they pop again.  Baby is wondering what those things are?!  Getting your sister to pay attention is always a challenge, I imagine.  I had a younger brother, and he was always frustrating me.  He wouldn't play dolls and was into destroying my toys and sawing on furniture and finding snakes in the back yard.  You can't control your siblings worth a hoot. 

I wanted a sister, when I was a kid.  I inevitably bonded with other girls with only a brother.  My best friend in childhood had a much older brother.  My best friend now has three sisters, and I'm ever curious about how that works.  I can see there is competition and conflict, but still...and aunt for my kids would have been nice.  Someone who understands being a mother and wife.  But I'm romantising, I know.  My brother was an ally with me as a child, but as adults, our different genders made us approach life differently, and only estranged us more.  When our parents died, something unraveled.  Because as adults, we have differing views of the world, values, politics.  It could have been no different if he'd been a sister, but sometimes, I do wonder what I missed.

Old Age Day by Day October 9, 2012

Yesterday we had lunch with our younger son and looked at a couple of houses  he might consider putting an offer on.  It's a big, scary step, but exciting, too, and it's fun to imagine him living in each and how it would be different in each case.  He's been careful and cautious, and at some point there will be the pull that gets him making an offer.  I wish I had a crystal ball so I could advise him, but I was always in the dark when we bought each of the four homes we've owned.  Three turned out better than worse, and one was a mistake.  There are always surprises, like the fireplace which doesn't work and can't be fixed, the road you thought was bucolic and turns out a death trap, the difficult neighbor, the kindly older couple who vote the opposite of you but have hearts of gold.  It's a learning experience in flexibility and patience.  I HAVE learned:  never live with a septic tank, a rural spot with beautiful farms also has airplanes spraying pesticides at certain times of year, sidewalks matter, I don't want to live anywhere that I must get in a car to get to a store or civilization, never plant a garden too big and have ducks to eat the grasshoppers before they eat your garden.  That's the extent of my accumulated wisdom.  Buying a house is a RISK, a crap shoot, and yet, and yet, it feels great and it's fun dreaming of when you'll paint the kitchen or add a front porch.