Old Age Day by Day December 14, 2012

Today my son and I shop for the party.  Challenging, but what a relief when it's accomplished.  It looks like a dreary weekend, so cooking is probably as good an activity as any.  I haven't made pies in a long time, so I'm looking forward to that and the fudge. 

My husband and I went out for a fancy dinner last night, just for the heck of it.  The refrigerator is put back until Monday and we survived a scare about it not turning on, and the complete project probably won't be done for several more weeks, so we just celebrated for no reason.  I had crab and avocado salad, lobster thermador, which I've never had in my life, and a glass of sparkling wine.  We had a table by the window and could see out to the estuary and the lights on boats.  We came back and I read my mystery and my husband watched "Wallee" with the dogs.  Ah, the aged way of life, it has it's pluses.

Old Age Day by Day December 13, 2012

They are putting the refrigerator space back together and next week we can hopefully get the floor redone.  Just in time for the holidays.  And if it doesn't happen, I'm prepared.  In the larger scheme of things, this is a blip.  It's a beautiful day, but more rain is forecast.  I'm refusing to worry about the party.  Whatever will be will be.  That's my mother's voice.

My granddaughter and I had a fun girlie day shopping for puzzles and books and having hot chocolate and brownies.  Well, she had the food, as both have sugar, but, and I really mean this, my pleasure in her pleasure was better than food.  She picked out a hot pink sweater with sequins and a bright orange ruffled skirt at the Gap Kids, and though I was not entirely convinced they matched, I let her decide.  We found a Christmas book about a basset hound who's family gets a new kitten, which I thought was astute psychology on her account, since she has a six month old baby sister.  And she picked out a lab puppy calendar.  Then we got rained on and ran to the car.  On the way back to her house she asked me to rank animals in order of preference:  dogs, horses, cats, and rats.  She chose:  cats, dogs, bunnies and guinea pigs.  But when I put in horses, she thought she might revise her list.  We have had some great days together feeding ponies and horses at the barn where my daughter-in-law works. 

My husband picked up crispy chicken tacos for dinner, so my day was complete.

Old Age Day by Day December 12, 2012

It rained early this morning but is sunny now, so my husband is taking the dogs to the reservoir.  I will await letting in the the repair people, and try not to look at the mess they have made of the downstairs.  At least I slept well last night, so I can hopefully have some fun with my granddaughter this afternoon.  I'm feeling very domestic, but the state of the kitchen is not conducive to baking or even having a cup of tea in.  The better plan is to be away as much as possible. 

I need to walk aimlessly tomorrow, I can see that.  I do love just bumbling around my neighborhood, and passing by the  post office, knowing I do not need stamps or to mail anything, ha, ha, ha.  Next week is time enough to buy the remaining Christmas presents, figure out menus for Xmas Eve and Day, and find some old fashioned candy for stockings.  There is actually a new candy store nearby, and I bet they have some retro stuff.  Ribbon candy, pez candy, more candy canes and some taffy for the party.  I can't eat it, but I can sure admire it, and actually I can still remember the taste. 

Old Age Day by Day December 11, 2012

I had a nice walk with a neighbor I haven't seen in a while.  It was good to catch up.  There is work happening in the kitchen, and hopefully the leak issues will be resolved for the new year.  I am calm, utterly calm, or well, attempting to be so.  Today is beautiful, but there is rain in our future, and I hope it is not on the day of the party.  These things cannot be controlled, unfortunately. 

I'm reading Alice Munro's newest book, "Dear Life".  Her stories are tricky.  They begin like an ordinary story, and the people seem distant and quaint even, but then the characters become complex, the motivations blurry and the outcome unclear.  Sort of like life.  There is clear feminist intent on the author's part, but not preachy, just a nod to the complexity of being a woman, the demands men often make unconsciously, and the restricted choices women had in Munro's generation.  Some of those restrictions still seem to have ghosts in the present era.  The women protagonists are often confused about what is going on and moving forward intuitively rather than with a life plan.  They are buffeted by forces they don't understand, but the reader does.  The stories are sad underneath, but with so much truth and beauty that the discomfort is almost easeful, instead of a downer.  I am a great admirer of her craft, and I also like the window into the Canadian world. 

Old Age Day by Day December 10, 2012

Today we get the tree!  It will be hard work and exhausting, but I'm ready to decorate.  I will unpack my snow globes, and clutter up the downstairs, but then I do like clutter.  There are a quite a few stages to get from here to the party.  It involves a lot of trips to and fro and plugging away at little tasks.  I'm up for it.

Tomorrow the workers come to repair the refrigerator and wall etc, so they will be plugging away as well.  I feel like it will be a house filled with elves.

Old Age Day by Day December 9, 2012

Today is our youngest's birthday.  She threw herself a party last night and we are taking her and her siblings to dinner tonight.  When she was born, there was a true knot in her umbilical cord, and we felt so blessed that it had never tightened in the womb.  When Andrew Solomon's son was born, the doctors and nurses panicked, and he was given a CAT scan.  So Solomon and his partner got quite a scare.  I think I'm grateful there was not quite as much technical intervention in the old days.  Anyway, I've always thought of her as a bit of a miracle.  They all are.  It's a rocky path to birth, frought with dangers. 

I'm going to meditation and a dharma talk then having an interview with my teacher.  My first one.  I have no idea how it will be.  I will be as surprised about what comes out of my mouth as anyone.  Maybe that's how it should be.

Old Age Day by Day December 8, 2012

I went into the living room to add another holiday card to the pile and discovered our dogs had eaten all the cards so far.  No wonder one of them has been gagging a lot.  Such is my lot with crazy dogs.  It's been that kind of day anyway.  I did not enjoy my study group, and was unable to remember why I find going desirable.  It seemed like such a waste of time.  I was pretty disgusted over lunch, then decided to take a nap and promptly erased the afternoon.  Now I've awoken, it's dark and I have no cards.  Luckily, there is still some hope for the day, as we are going to a Chaunakkah party tonight.  I'm going to change clothes, brush my hair, and start over.  Tomorrow I must get up early and be gone for meditation and dharma talk and then have my first interview with my teacher.  Right now I can't think of a thing to say, so hopefully inspiration will strike.  If not, I'll nod my head wisely, I guess.