Today is our daughter-in-law's birthday, and we've already called and sung a terrible harmonic version of happy birthday. We won't see her for a week and a half, for a luncheon and to give her presents. At this point, we've known her for a very long time, and she's been our daughter-in-law for over eleven years. Pretty amazing. She still looks as young, but like everyone she's had challenges: starting and selling a business, having falls while riding, going back to college to earn a teaching credential and M.A. It's privilege to watch her growing up and older and becoming confident and sure of her value. She's strong.
I'm going pick up my granddaughter this afternoon and do something until we go to her house so I can give a sewing lesson to her and her mom. She received a sewing machine for Christmas, but I guess it's hard to figure out. I hope I can. I haven't seen her in almost 3 weeks, as I was away, then she was away. Her family went to Costa Rica, so I'm sure she has much to relate about her trip. She's growing up so fast, and I want to enjoy her while she still has time for me.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Old Age Day by Day February 19, 2013
Today I'm seeing a film and having lunch with our younger daughter, who is off from work this week. A nice treat, and on a dreary day. I believe the rain is coming. In fact a little came last night. My husband is hard at work on a puzzle, and in between working on that he is reading the third Hunger Games book. I am about to start a new book, and just finished a fun thriller about hedge fund trading. The financial world is not a pretty picture.
I was organizing my books in my studio yesterday and came upon two books from the seventies on vegan eating and healthy recipes. It reminded me that I was doing what my kids are doing now a long time ago, namely, searching for the safest and healthiest food for my family. But now we have an organic cornicopia of food, and so much more information. Yet, fast food and junk food has also risen. We eat too much of everything, the good and the bad. I have long since given up on baking bread, since healthy baked goods abound, but also, I eat out so often, in a way I never did back then. Yes, I can eat salads and choose wisely, but sometimes I don't. The foods are too tempting. My older daughter is trying gluten-free cooking, and I applaud her efforts, and hope she'll be more successful than I was. But the culture pulls us back into unhealthy eating so often. I hope it's changing, but I wonder.
I was organizing my books in my studio yesterday and came upon two books from the seventies on vegan eating and healthy recipes. It reminded me that I was doing what my kids are doing now a long time ago, namely, searching for the safest and healthiest food for my family. But now we have an organic cornicopia of food, and so much more information. Yet, fast food and junk food has also risen. We eat too much of everything, the good and the bad. I have long since given up on baking bread, since healthy baked goods abound, but also, I eat out so often, in a way I never did back then. Yes, I can eat salads and choose wisely, but sometimes I don't. The foods are too tempting. My older daughter is trying gluten-free cooking, and I applaud her efforts, and hope she'll be more successful than I was. But the culture pulls us back into unhealthy eating so often. I hope it's changing, but I wonder.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Old Age Day by Day February 18, 2013
Today is gloomy, in preparation for the rain we're expected to have by tomorrow. We need more rain, so I'm not worried. I went to my Buddhist temple yesterday after missing two Sundays, and it was like coming home. Anam Thubten's talks are so useful and tender. His compassion is foremost, and every talk seems to knit right into all the others in this ever expanding web of heart felt understanding. It makes me happy to be on this path, to see myself as a part of something larger, something better, with capacities I didn't know I had before. I love myself in a way I couldn't before. What a gift!
This President's Weekend has been more meaningful for me as the film "Lincoln" and the book "Team of Rivals" has highlighted the man and the presidency in a way I'd not thought of before. I feel both the book and movie gave me a role model and a kind of person who can actually do some good in that office. I hope Obama will turn out to have similar qualities and compassion. I think it wouldn't hurt to reexamine Washington as well, who was much more interesting that our history classes would have it, and a model for not grasping at power. Who would play him in the movie? Daniel Day Lewis again? No, wrong physical type. Perhaps Kenneth Branaugh. No, too short. It's all about the eyes. Washington had an equinimity about him. A calmness and direct gaze. Oh, well, enough casting for now.
This President's Weekend has been more meaningful for me as the film "Lincoln" and the book "Team of Rivals" has highlighted the man and the presidency in a way I'd not thought of before. I feel both the book and movie gave me a role model and a kind of person who can actually do some good in that office. I hope Obama will turn out to have similar qualities and compassion. I think it wouldn't hurt to reexamine Washington as well, who was much more interesting that our history classes would have it, and a model for not grasping at power. Who would play him in the movie? Daniel Day Lewis again? No, wrong physical type. Perhaps Kenneth Branaugh. No, too short. It's all about the eyes. Washington had an equinimity about him. A calmness and direct gaze. Oh, well, enough casting for now.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Old Age Day by Day February 17, 2013
Some friends and my husband and I saw the film "Amour" last night. It's amazing. The acting is first rate and the subject: old age and death, not something we see on the screen in any meaningful way. And this particular couple depicted are victims of Western culture's shame and revulsion at old age and death. They see themselves as "independent" instead of in a life stage where they need help. Asking for help is shameful. So they implode on each other, isolating themselves and hiding like criminals. The daughter is no help, as she is uncomfortable and afraid to alter the balance of power, which compassion would have forced her to do, if she wasn't unwilling to step up to the plate. She's teary and pitying, which they do not need and cannot use. The tragedy of this couple is in their attitude towards life changes and the transition towards death. This is the story, in general terms, of many elderly in our country as well. People treat them as if they are children, take away their dignity, or abandon them for their own selfish lives. Our culture forgets how interdependent the generations are, and how much help is needed and must be fluid between the different life stages and/or circumstances. There are so many beautiful scenes in this movie, but notice the slow panning of closeups of the couple's paintings, near the end. The eternal dance of life and death and the brief beauty of life is showcased. Everything changes. We are a part of this flowing, changing river of life, and we'd best feel the water while it washes over us.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Old Age Day by Day February 16, 22013
I've just had a turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce and stuffing. We have to go through the tunnel to get to the cafe/hofbrau place where the turkey is fresh roasted, but once in a while I get a craving for turkey. It was sublime. I've done a bunch of errands and stuffed myself, and I'll be reading my mystery this afternoon. Our younger son stopped by to borrow our big car to take to the cabin, as he, a bunch of friends and five dogs are going up for the weekend. Next weekend our younger daughter heads up with a bunch of her friends.
Having just gotten home, I'm not in the mood to head anywhere. I'm enjoying my own bed, pillow, and stuff around me. I love to travel and I love to return. And for me, about 10 days is ideal to be away. More than that and I get weary of strange beds, and less is sometimes not enough. I was gone a week this time. A few days more might have given me a chance to see more, but this way I didn't abuse my hosts too much. Our next trip is for our anniversary, and we're doing three nights away. I'm looking forward to that, because I love the area where we're going, and the place we will be staying has a pool. It's always lovely and luxurious to swim out of season.
But today, it's quiet, a slow day, and I can doze if I want, and jump up and take care of some aspect of the house if I'm figgety. And if a friend calls, I'm available.
Having just gotten home, I'm not in the mood to head anywhere. I'm enjoying my own bed, pillow, and stuff around me. I love to travel and I love to return. And for me, about 10 days is ideal to be away. More than that and I get weary of strange beds, and less is sometimes not enough. I was gone a week this time. A few days more might have given me a chance to see more, but this way I didn't abuse my hosts too much. Our next trip is for our anniversary, and we're doing three nights away. I'm looking forward to that, because I love the area where we're going, and the place we will be staying has a pool. It's always lovely and luxurious to swim out of season.
But today, it's quiet, a slow day, and I can doze if I want, and jump up and take care of some aspect of the house if I'm figgety. And if a friend calls, I'm available.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Old Age Day by Day February 15, 2013
We are having summer here right now. Next week rain is coming, but right now, it's heaven. My husband and I had a lovely dinner of ribeyes, baked potatoes, asparagus and salad, accompanied by prosecco. Then we watched "The Philadelphia Story" with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. That was the romantic movie we picked. We then had a lively discussion about the characters and what they represent, as well as my husband revealing he played Kitteridge in high school and wished he could have played Connor or Dexter. He felt he wasn't considered handsome enough. I argued Kitteridge was an interesting character, but I get his point.
Right now the piano is being tuned, and my husband said he'd walk the dogs after, but he loved listening to the tuning. Now isn't that romantic of him?
I'm reading a wonderful book by Adyashanti, and I went to bed right after reading a chapter, so I slept well, despite the prosecco. However, in the paper this morning an article outlined the danger of cancer from alcohol, which I'd never heard of, so, back to my usual one or two beers a week. Is there anything safe to eat or drink? Kale and blueberries are about it.
Right now the piano is being tuned, and my husband said he'd walk the dogs after, but he loved listening to the tuning. Now isn't that romantic of him?
I'm reading a wonderful book by Adyashanti, and I went to bed right after reading a chapter, so I slept well, despite the prosecco. However, in the paper this morning an article outlined the danger of cancer from alcohol, which I'd never heard of, so, back to my usual one or two beers a week. Is there anything safe to eat or drink? Kale and blueberries are about it.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Old Age Day by Day February 14, 2013
I just arrived back from my trip last night, and I've done my laundry and slept in my bed and am ready for my life here and now. My husband had red roses waiting for me when I returned, and I have romantic plans today: see my therapist, go to the dentist, and grocery shop. The dogs had nervous breakdowns while I was gone, and the male dog refused to eat, but they seem okay today. I guess I'm more important than I thought.
I had a sweet trip, seeing my daughter and granddaughter, meeting again my daughter's fiance and his two sons, visiting with my best friend. The weather was cold and gray, but I was expecting that, and it didn't rain, which I considered fortuitous. I had some nice meals in restaurants and in my daughter's and my friend's homes, and saw two movies. But the best moments were playing with my granddaughter, and reveling in her brightness, imagination, intelligence and sweet temper. She's a treasure. The two little boys who are becoming part of my life were affectionate and delightful as well. My daughter is going from one to three kids, which is quite an adjustment. The boys seem to adore her, and readily accepted me. So in one fell swoop my granddaughter gets two brothers. It's heady stuff.
I began a journal on my trip, and hope to keep that up. It's a chronicling of my Buddhist practice, which stood me in very good stead on this trip. I allowed myself, several times, to withdraw and feel the feelings that were welling up, and protect myself from reactivity. I am so grateful to have the tools to guide myself to actions that I don't regret and to speak only when I truly know what is wise to say. My trip was successful, in that I took care of myself as much as anyone else.
I had a sweet trip, seeing my daughter and granddaughter, meeting again my daughter's fiance and his two sons, visiting with my best friend. The weather was cold and gray, but I was expecting that, and it didn't rain, which I considered fortuitous. I had some nice meals in restaurants and in my daughter's and my friend's homes, and saw two movies. But the best moments were playing with my granddaughter, and reveling in her brightness, imagination, intelligence and sweet temper. She's a treasure. The two little boys who are becoming part of my life were affectionate and delightful as well. My daughter is going from one to three kids, which is quite an adjustment. The boys seem to adore her, and readily accepted me. So in one fell swoop my granddaughter gets two brothers. It's heady stuff.
I began a journal on my trip, and hope to keep that up. It's a chronicling of my Buddhist practice, which stood me in very good stead on this trip. I allowed myself, several times, to withdraw and feel the feelings that were welling up, and protect myself from reactivity. I am so grateful to have the tools to guide myself to actions that I don't regret and to speak only when I truly know what is wise to say. My trip was successful, in that I took care of myself as much as anyone else.
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