Old Age Day by Day November 13, 2013

Yesterday I was discouraged, because my foot hurt and no matter what I did with it, my body felt awkward and uncomfortable.  I'm sick of not walking around and stretching myself and trying to keep the foot up.  My body keeps acting up, protesting, creaking and groaning at the old age thing.  I want to move more, but I must be patient.  After all, this injury is a little thing, and I feel guilty complaining, but there, now I've got it off my chest!

I talked to a lot of people on the phone yesterday, and that felt good.  These friends are my lifeline, and I feel anchored when I connect with them.  Today is another beautiful fall day, and perhaps my foster granddaughter and I can get out a bit more.  I also hope to work on some tree ornaments with her, if her focus is steady.  By the time I pick her up she's pretty exhausted from school and choir practice, so I have to play it by ear.  Last week she was happy enough to relax, watch a movie and draw.  The best times are when she has a day off school and we can do something in the morning and have lunch.  From my point of view, just talking with her is the best, but I feel I must be somewhat entertaining as well.  But who am I kidding?  She has a full, exciting life and I'm not really filling any holes.  We have a friendship that's as long as she can remember.  And she trusts me.  That's enough.

Old Age Day by Day November 12, 2013

We indeed had a feast yesterday, for our son's friend's tribe's day.  Amazing chicken enchiladas, pozole, chili, potato salad, mac and cheese, green salad, tortillas, the whole nine yards.  Then there were the desserts:  a chocolate cake, a pumpkin pie, pumpkin cake, bread pudding, and apple crisp.  Since I'm diabetic, I could only admire the desserts, which was just as well.  I like seeing the people there whom I only see once a year.  It was gay, with kids running everywhere.  I had a long discussion with a boy about "Ender's Game", which he has read.  We analysed the movie.  I heard a detailed description of the new gambling casino up north, from two very funny women who seem to be experts on the tribal casino world.  It was truly festive.

This morning I can see that it rained last night, but only a little more than spit.  We are not getting rain, even when we're supposed to.  It's looking ominous.  I may have to do a rain dance, but with my broken foot, it might not produce much. 

Old Age Day by Day November 11, 2013

Yesterday my daughter and I saw "Twelve Years a Slave".  It is even more amazing than I expected.  First of all, the cinematography is beautiful and so unusual.  Secondly, though there are many harsh moments, these are intraspursed with many quiet moments, and the pace is slow and deliberate.  This is NOT an action movie.  The actors performances are superb, and the attempt is more to render the feeling state of Solomon Northrup, rather than any preachiness.  The film reminds me of "Beasts of the Southern Wild", more coherent and crafted, but telling a similar tale of people and situations painful past bearing.  This is the antidote to "Gone With the Wind", where the slave owners are noble and the slaves like family members.  This film tells us what freedom is and what the lack of it does to a person.  The violence, when it's shown, is not glamorized or fetishsized.  Mostly, you can close your eyes because you know what is coming, but it's not the few moments of violence that disturb, it's the waiting, anticipation, constant dread.  The slave owners are sanctimonious and terrifying in their actions.  It's as if their dark side has been allowed dominance through the act of buying another human being.  Thus, the viewer begins to think about the nature of a human being and the cost of harming another to the soul of the perpetrator.  And thoughts of "good" slaveowners seem ludicrous.  There are choices in this movie, and we are made to feel them.  See it.  Then talk about it with others.

Old Age Day by Day November 10, 2013

There was an article in the newspaper travel section today about Morocco.  I found myself happy to see pictures of places I'd seen, and grateful again that my daughter's path encouraged me to follow.  Actually, all four of the kids have gotten me places I might no have gone.  The middle two got me to New York for years, where I saw great art and had great food.  The oldest got me to the midwest and introduced me to the Minneapolis Art Museum, the Detroit Institute, and the best farmer's market I've ever seen.  Our youngest gave us an entree into Philadelphia, where we saw art shows and the liberty bell and constitution hall.  We visited her in Paris.  We visited the other daughter in Spain, then Prague, then Morocco twice.  And our first trip abroad was with all four kids to visit the older two's stepmom and brother, in Ireland.  We saw London, Scotland, a bit of Wales and Ireland, and we've been back to Ireland and England to visit. 

So we owe the kids a lot.  We've done traveling on our own as well, and I usually say my favorite trip was Egypt, but Morocco is right up there.  I loved the medinas, the souks, the riyads, the roman ruins, the storks, the friendliness of the people, the food.  When my best friend and I visited, my daughter set us all up with a cooking class in Fez, and that was truly a feast.  I love every single craft they have in the souks, and the light, the mosaics, the desert, the mountains are spectacular.  My friend and I rode the trains, which are safe and efficient, and our time in Marrakesh was magical.  We'd sit on the rooftop of our riyad and see out over the old city.  It was a maze of streets, but we were off the big plaza and somehow always found our way back.  My daughter and her husband helped us find rugs in the mountains, and I have a Berber blanket straight off a camel in my living room, draped on my sofa.  I have two red leather poufs, and charming ceramics.  Great memories.

Old Age Day by Day November 9, 2013

I have a friend who is 83 today.  She's amazing, and has energy up the wazoo.  She is recovering from a second cornea transplant right now.  She is a hands on grandmother to four, and very active with a singing group and going to concerts and plays.  She clearly treasures being alive and in this world.  She always has a plan.  She was a kindergarten teacher and I think some of that energy rubbed off permanently. 

I'll be taking her a little gift today, and on my way looking at a fabric store for holiday projects and stuff to make for my grandchildren.  I adore looking at material.  It may have everything to do with my parents being in the garment industry.

I had a nice lunch with a friend yesterday and we shopped a bit, but didn't see anything interesting.  We're content to just look, as we both are trying to pare down rather than accumulate more stuff.  I wish you could still browse for DVDs, but that era is over.  If a store even has them, it's severely limited, and just the usual blockbuster stuff.  I'm going to start looking at used DVDs in used bookstores.  I used to like discovering a film I never knew existed, and finding hidden gems.  But now that can't really be done.  Yes, I can look online and yet, that is overwhelming unless you know what you're looking for.  Oh, well, DVDs are a thing of the past.  As is so much in my lifetime.  The landfill aspect is dreary.  Now everything is built to destruct in a couple of years so you can buy it again, or set up, as with the smartphones, so it's lucrative to steal it and the companies have you buying again and again.  Why do people tolerate this?  I've no idea.

Old Age Day by Day November 8, 2013

I received an email from an old friend who lives in Florida.  She was a year ahead of me in school, when we were children, and moved to the west coast after college graduation with her husband.  My parents were mentors to them both, and godparents to their daughter.  When they retired they sold their house here and moved to Florida.  Now they are trapped there and cannot sell to move back here where their daughter still lives.  She has many health problems, and I feel for her dilemma.  It was good to hear from her, but I haven't been out to the east coast in years, and I don't like Florida.  My aunt and uncle retired there, and we visited a few times, but I don't get the allure.  It's hot, buggy, full of malls and traffic, and politically foreign to me.  How horrible to think you are making a savvy decision and discover you have trapped yourself in a place you cannot leave.  After my uncle died, my aunt couldn't wait to sell the house and move.  In two months she had said goodbye forever to Florida and moved to Colorado Springs, where her sisters brother-in-law and niece and nephew lived.  People are more important than place or bargains.  I've never forgotten that lesson.  And if my friend moved back, it would be to a small condo somewhere, as she could never buy back into her neighborhood or with a house as nice as the one she had.  I sure wish them well, and hope someone buys their house, but it's literally been years, and no one has been interested.  It's a nice house with pool and dock.  But it is where a hurricane destroyed a lot of property, and no one dares to be there any more.  It has not come back. 

I see my friend when she visits her daughter, so I'll see her next year, no doubt.  But I wish I could help her out of this mess, and I cannot.  I pray she has a lucky year next year.

Old Age Day by Day November 7, 2013

I had a nice time with my foster granddaughter yesterday.  We "snacked" then I was the audience for her piano and singing practice, and then we watched "Fly Away Home" and then designed costumes for a play she and some other girls are putting on.  Then her mom and toddler sister showed up, and her sister at 16 months is talking up a storm, drawing like a manic and full of the "no"s.  She's adorable.  Both girls, having been redheads all along, are now turning blond.  Only mommy remains a fiery redhead.  I'm partial to the color because my brother is a redhead.  Blond or no, they all have the temperment.  I adore them.

Last night my granddaughter two states away called, and she talked a long time about the weather, our drought, how she could invent an airplane that would go up in the sky and get the rain from over her house, then fly here to dump it on us.  I pronounced it a capital idea, but said in the meantime she could put a bucket out, and next time I drove up there I'd bring the bucket home with me.  She was pleased with her Halloween costume, and fascinated by my broken bone in my foot.  It was so sweet to talk to her.

I'm reading the new John Grisham novel, and it's a follow up on "A Time to Kill".  He has a great way with legal complexities and the small town south.  He knows how to charm.

Today I'm having lunch with a friend and meeting at the metaphysical bookstore, which is as dusty and musty and funky as it sounds, but pretty adorable.  We both try to buy books there to keep it in business.