Old Age Day by Day December 31, 2012

Last night I finished rolling all the yarn I bought the day before into balls and into a basket I also bought for this purpose.  I'm going back to knitting blankets.  I practically sprained my right wrist doing this, but my basket filled with colorful balls of yarn makes it all worthwhile.  I had to watch one and a half Cary Grant-Joan Bennett comedies to accomplish my goal.  Gosh, they are cute together, fast talking and tough and adorable.  The first film was "Big Brown Eyes" and the second "Wedding Present".  It looks like they had a lot of fun.  Now I'm all set for 2013 knitting. 

We drove around and looked at the lights last night before my knitting mania, and it was interesting to see all the creativity run amok.  And the best are at the biggest houses in the swankiest areas, but modest homes and certain streets where evidently the spirit just hit and hit hard.  We fell in the love with the new purple-blue lights, and my husband wants to get some of those next year.  We'll see. 

Yesterday's dharma talk set me on a good path for the new year.  He was talking about loving life, all of it, without discrimination.  Taking and embracing this messy, complex, contradictory, exasperating, joyful, tragic life we are given.  And after his talk, I thought, wow, I am able to do this a lot of the time now.  His training has been that helpful.  I felt proud of myself, instead of like I was failing at whatever Buddhist yardstick I had all twisted up in my head.  Because I really do feel life is precious, and maybe rolling balls of yarn is the ultimate joyride.

Old Age Day by Day December 30, 2012

Our shopping trip yesterday was successful.  My son found a suit, and also six shirts and two ties.  We worked hard, but came up roses.  Looking at men's suits is not something I'm that familiar with, since my husband, as a scientist, never had to wear them.  He bought two for our daughter's wedding, then maybe he's bought another since, but I can't remember.  I have been shopping before with both sons, but only the elder needs these kind of dress clothes, because he is going to be interviewing for jobs soon.  I my self no longer own a suit.  The era of pantsuits is over for me.  And as a college teacher, I never needed to be dressed up.  So it's a bit fun to look carefully at the minutest differences in fabric, color and style.  Everything is ulta subtle in men's suits.  And since he has a black suit and a gray one, he was looking for blue.  Next time it will be brown.  Not too exciting, but the good part is they never really go out of style, and he'll wear them for life.  I'm not sure I can say the same thing about my clothes, though I have had some coats and sweaters for 25 or 30 years.  And I have some retro coats that came from the 1950's.  One I call my Kim Kovak coat.

When I got home my husband had ordered pizza and we watched "Christmas in Connecticut".  I love Barbara Stanwick and Dennis Morgan in it.  Stanwick was edgy for her time, and had a great way with a line.  I like that persona of hers.

Old Age Day by Day December 29, 2012

It's been windy all night and still is today.  Gray and cold, for us.  Winter weather, for sure.  Two days ago my husband, younger daughter and I saw "Les Miz", and enjoyed it, as we adore the songs and have such terrific memories of seeing it on stage.  I don't think the movie entirely works.  Too many closeups and the ending speeded up and truncated.  The voices are fine, and I loved Russell Crowe giving more depth and complexity to Javert.  Anne Hathaway's early song is powerful.  Jackman is great, though I think a bigger actor physically would have been even better.  I really like Eddie Reymane as Marius.  The closeups are disconcerting, and I now know why I don't want to sit in the first row at the theater or opera.  But my husband put the CD on after we got home, and I almost liked that better, because the stage voices are so strong and passionate.  I like it just the way I remember it from the two times I saw it in the theater.  I read the book as a child, then as a young adult, and I am such a fan of Victor Hugo.  He's right up there with Dickens and Doestovevsky.  One of my early and constant passions.

Today I'm going shopping for a suit with my older son.  I'll lend moral support and get some time with him.  He's always too busy studying and writing.  So I'll grab him while I can.

Old Age Day by Day December 28, 2012

Why is it so hard to talk to people when you need to tell them to change something?  I've been dreading it for a week.  He sent me a bill for two times but only did one.  He also did not do the things I'd talked to him about, and not shown up as often as he agreed to.  My husband said not to bother to talk to him again, just fire him.  But I've needed second chances in my life, and I figured he might have a very good reason for sluffing off this fall.  It turned out he didn't, but I was as clear as I could possibly be, and I didn't give him the usual holiday bonus.  That was the hardest part for me.  I like to be generous.  In the end, we shook hands, and maybe the lack of a bonus will tell him I'm serious.  But I felt terrible, and am still trying to calm down.

I finished a book about Rocky Flats in Colorado.  My older daughter gave it to me for Christmas, and since my husband and I protested about the facility for the seven years we lived nearby, it was deeply interesting to find out more about the history and the closing of it.  The woman who wrote it grew up nearby and worked there for a brief time.  I remember when we were looking at houses to buy, and the realtor showed us ones near Rocky Flats, and told us we needed to sign a waiver for radiation dangers, we quickly looked many miles away and not downwind from the place either.  But people lived there, and died of cancers and struggled with ailments.  Once we went and hundreds of people linked hands around the perimeter.  Thank goodness we were cautious and knew better than to take chances.  Yes, those homeowners had a view, and it was convenient to Boulder, but they lived surrounded by contaminated soil, lakes and drinking water.  I'm not one for blind trust, and I've never thought the government was honest and truthful.  And especially not their contracted companies, like Dow in the beginning and Rockwell at the end.  For profit usually means by "any means necessary".  What a story!

Old Age Day by Day December 27, 2012

I got a great sleep last night, and it's beautiful today.  We've got some errands to run and hope to see "Les Mis" this afternoon.  There are noisy birds outside, in some kind of conflict or other.  Maybe around a squirrel.  Yesterday, we walked the dogs around a reservoir there in a tree very close was a huge rusty-red hawk with brown and white patterned wings.  It was eating something it had caught, resting in the crook of a leafless tree.  He or she turned to look at me, completely unconcerned that I was observing.  We stood there for many minutes, admiring his beauty, strength and size.  We also saw two pelicans and a heron, and a chickadee and other little brown birds, maybe sparrows.  The world indeed does have a show for us, guaranteed to give us pause and encourage reflection.  The beauties of the season are all around us, treasures more valuable than any gift.

So I'm in a great mood, and loving this after Christmas feeling of blessings and relief.  It's over, but it was good.

Old Age Day by Day December 26, 2012

Boxing Day!  When we lived in Colorado we used to celebrate this day with friends who were British, and it was fun.  Now I'll celebrate by getting the house back to normal, being mighty pleased with a lovely Christmas Eve and day with family and friends.  We had fun just cooking, watching "Elf" and playing Scrabble.  The food was fabulous, and everyone chipped in and made dishes.  We had a big surprise as our older daughter called from Hawaii and said her boyfriend asked her to marry him and she said yes.  She emailed a photo the a beautiful diamond ring he had made for her.  So our family will be expanding again, and we will be getting to know him better.  He comes with two sons, two parents, siblings etc, so Really expanding.  Our granddaughter called from New York, but she was buzzed up running around with the phone and I can't say I understood much, except she was happy and excited.  We talked to our family in Dublin as well, and that was good. 

It's sunny today and I plan to get out a bit, and maybe see a movie, or if not, walk around.  The holidays are over for me, as I do not do anything for New Year's.  I'm looking forward to seeing friends, a retreat, my daughter and granddaughter visiting and going up to see my best friend after.  The best stuff.

Old Age Day by Day December 23m 2012

We survived the night with three dogs.  Our son's dog ended up sleeping on the floor beside us, and he was very quiet and good, and our two dogs slept in their crates, as usual.  Having three dogs when it's raining is challenging, and I hope there is some kind of break this morning so we can walk them.  Our son's dog is a bit sad and confused, but seems to trust us.  It's going to be a long day with them in the confines of the house.  The more they get used to each other the better.  This morning they sychronized eating so all three finished at the same moment.  There stockings hang by the fireplace awaiting Santa.  If our female dog thinks the visitor is getting too much attention, she comes over and nudges us to pet her too.  They've worked things out.

Now, if the US Congress to figure out what the dogs have!