Old Age Day by Day April 30, 2013

Today is the last day of April, and the gardener has not shown up for a second time for which I've already paid him.  The handwriting is on the wall.  I must find a new gardener.  I think I'm a very nice person and maybe that is allowing him to not show up, but even I, sucker with a capital S, know when to quit paying a gardener only in theory.  It's just he's been my gardener for over ten years.  Where's the loyality?  Obviously, only on my side, and the boat has tipped so far over that capsizing is eminent. 

It's warming up this week to summer levels.  I slept with the fan on last night.  I love it.  I'm going to go out there today and get me some rays!  My husband says the cabin is warm as well, and he has the deck furniture out and can sit out and bask.  The dogs can bark at people on the path.  All is right. 

Old Age Day by Day April 29, 2013

I'm about to go on a walk with a friend.  It's summer again and I'm taking advantage of it.  I had a good weekend.  It was good as always seeing my study group, and we had a lively discussion which was helpful.  Sunday's dharma talk was terrific, and I felt eased and focused after.  My husband has taken the dogs to the cabin and I hope he has good weather up there.  It's nice getting a break from routine - not having to prepare meals or get up at the same time.  Yes, I eat.  But I do what he does at the cabin, I eat salads and prepared meals I pick up, and try to keep to two real meals.  I watched exactly what I wanted to last night and went to be when it felt right.  There are these subtle compromises in marriage that are made without even thinking consciously about it, and it's good to have a break from that juggling.  It makes me appreciate the benefits of both ways.

I will, of course, eat as spicy as possible, since my husband doesn't like spicy.  I need to get it out of my system while he's away.  Here come the chiles!

Old Age Day by Day April 27, 2013

My husband, our younger daughter and I had a beautiful walk yesterday.  Wildflowers were everywhere.  It was a long hike, and we ate our lunch in the grasses, and rarely encountered anyone else.  The dogs were in heaven.  We were all exhausted at the end, but happy.  And I felt a pang occasionally of how old the dogs are getting, and how I want to treasure these times while they can still run around and bounce for the joy of it.  They met a few other dogs and our female talked her head off to them, eager to tell them what we were doing.  Dogs know how to appreciate. 

Today I have my study group and I look forward to that.  These friends and my teacher have known each other for over twenty years.  We're close, and our goal is the same.  That creates a comfortable atmosphere and a sense of coming home. 

Old Age Day by Day April 25, 2013

Another dreary day, but today I'm prepared for it and will dress accordingly.  We saw a great entertainment movie yesterday - "Oblivion".  Our family loves sci fi and this one is a keeper.  Tom Cruise is great and the visuals and story are fascinating.  It was a good dreary day venture.  Today I'm pretty busy with some plans and tomorrow we're taking a hike with the dogs, I think.  I'm reading a book I avoided for a long time:  Murder at Pemberly by PD James.  I'm sick of Jane Austen, with all the exploitive novels and movies, but this is well done.  What it lacks is the wit of Austen, and it ultimately shows a world grown serious and maybe too responsible.  It's a harsh judgment on the Bennetts, I think, and perhaps Austen had this heavy morality backing up her books, since her father was a pastor, but the balance is all wrong in this book.  But it makes me think of the miracle of Austen's prose, that it can walk that tightrope, showing us the frivolity and corruption while reveling in it.  So James' book is actually a kind of meditation on the genius of Austen and her silence  on the  inevitable outcomes from complex lives and relations in a constricted world.

Old Age Day by Day April 24, 2013

Not so pretty today, with a cool bite in the air and overcast.  But I did get my new glasses, which I like very much, and my view is sharper and crisper.  The joys of seeing better!  Would that that were a metaphor. 

I've been sleeping well because we have the window open and a fan blowing on us.  It's not actually hot enough for such a measure, but boy do I love it.  I guess I need background noise or circulating air to sink into a deep sleep.  I also love hearing the outside:  the birds in the morning, the dogs barking on early walks, the bicyclists talking as they ride by.  I hear the paper thump on the steps, the hammers working, the train whistle and every firetruck or police vehicle.  It's my town, and it's busy.  On some nights I hear the concert in the Greek Theater.  The other night it was Green Day.  On Thursday nights the Cal band practices, when it's football season the cannons roar when there is a touchdown.  The Campanile chimes every hour.  The squirrels scold from our trees, the cats fight in our front yard, and occasionally the racoons screech from the cedar tree.  So.  Add a little whir of a fan and that is the piece de resistance.

Old Age Day by Day April 23, 2013

We got pots, plants and potting soil yesterday, and attempted to beautify the back yard.  It looks better, but probably will not be on the cover of Sunset.  Oh, well, we can't all be upscale.  We're down-dog, and I don't mean downward dog either.  My husband has gone on a hike with our younger daughter who has this week off from teaching.  I'm going to lunch with a friend.  Our older son spent last night with us as he's doing research our way.  We had a nice chat this morning.

Yesterday we talked to our granddaughter, whose birthday it was.  She seemed very focused on her birthday cake from her party the day before, and was sucking on a lollipop from the party.  We talked mostly with our new 10 year old grandson, who wondered if we had an IPhone.  He's right, we could have done a video call if we had one.  Pretty soon I'll have to break down for that alone, I suppose.  It's a lively household there now with three kids instead of one.  All talkers, by the way.  I can relate to that. 

So today is an absolute summer day, and almost hot already, and I'm in flip flop mode.  It feels great.

old Age Day by Day April 22, 2013

Today is Earth Day and my granddaughter's birthday.  She's five.  It's hard not being with her on her special day, but I'm sure she's having a little celebration at preschool and has had or will have a birthday party.  We sang Happy Birthday over our daughter's phone so she could play it for her. 

Today we're getting some pots and attempting to spruce up the back yard with new plants.  This depends on the dogs not developing a new project of digging up pots.  We are at their mercy.

After last week's horrendous events, this week I hope will be peaceful and healing.  Quiet.  I hope everyone on the planet connects with some other person in a positive way.  I hope many send healing prayers to Boston and Texas and China and Syria and every other sore spot on the globe.  I know we are capable of doing better with each other.