Old Age Day by Day August 31, 2013

My husband hadn't seen the sci-fi film Elysium, so he and I went to a matinee yesterday afternoon.  Again, I cried at the end, for the image of the mother and her daughter, where the med bed can heal her daughter from leukemia.  I'd like a device like that for my daughter, where she is instantly healed, instead of going through all the treatments she is facing.  I love the messages in the movie, both political, about health care and class, and the image of how earth looks from above:  so beautiful and and pristine.   We need to remember life is a beautiful gift, no matter what the struggles.

I finished a book by Benjamin Black last night, Holy Orders.  These mysteries are by the great writer John Banville, and are set in the 1950's in Dublin, with the protagonist being a doctor named Quirke.  This one attacks the Catholic Church, and the unlimited power and influence it wielded.  These books are dark, and psychologically complicated, with wounded characters and no language or information for what they are suffering through. 

Now I'm reading the Canadian writer Louise Penny's new book, "Where the Light Comes In", which is immediately engaging and the characters as comfortable as old friends.  I was waiting for this book for a month.  She is a treat.  I usually give away mysteries, but I've kept all Black's and Penny's.  Rereading them will be a treat.

Old Age Day by Day August 30, 2013

We had lunch with our younger son yesterday, then he and I shopped for books and found a couple, as usual.  When have I ever gone into a bookstore and not bought a book?  Never happened.  Yesterday was real summer weather and I love it but am conflicted, as warmer temperatures must not be good for putting out the fire.  They say it may be contained by Sept 10, but that seems like a long time away. 
Yesterday I put out clothes for our trip.  Yes, my husband's as well.  I pick out what I want to see him in, because his choices can be weird, as well as strange for the weather.  I pack pretty efficiently now.  My model is my older daughter, who can pack a small bag and make it work.  All the kids are better than we are.  I think it is a generational thing.  So anyway, I lay the clothes out on the spare bed, thinking it over a couple of days, then I get down the suitcases, then check my list and finally, a day before, pack and see if it all fits.  We have fairly small rolling bags, so sometimes it doesn't, and the culling process begins.  My weak points are shoes and jackets.  This time I'm attempting to get by with a  shell raincoat, a sweater jacket, and a cotton unlined car coat.  We shall see. 

Old Age Day by Day August 29, 2013

I had a nice afternoon with my foster granddaughter.  First she bungled around the schoolyard for twenty minutes, then we went to the library and she found some books.  We were looking for dog training books, because she is getting a dog Friday.  It is a beagle/terrier mix.  Then we went to a pet store to check out the kittens and bunnies.  I fell in love with a white cockatoo who was really social and responsive.  She was white with yellow under her wings and tail, and could fluff up her "do" and was listening attentively to everything I said.  That's the first time I've been so attracted to a bird.  We bought some treats and two toys for the new dog and two toys for my dogs.  Then we checked out the toy store and the book store.  We found a dog training book and a chapter book for her about being a vet, and I bought the new Louise Penny mystery.  Then we headed home and played a 45 minute game of UNO - she won - and she collected snails from my front porch for her snail collection - I was happy to lend her some of mine, and we watched part of one of our favorite films "Ramona and Beezus" and then I drove her home, where her baby sister yelled "Mom!" loudly, her new achievement. 

Then my husband and I had salads and watched the Obama interview on PBS.  I retired to our bedroom to read my mystery and relax.  A nice day.

Old Age Day by Day August 28, 2013

Today I pick up my foster granddaughter from school.  I haven't seen her in a while, as she had a busy summer and I did as well.  It will be great to catch up and hear about third grade and her summer.  This means Fall has definitely arrived.  Labor Day weekend is looming and after that le deluge.  This morning is overcast, but I assume the sun will come out later.  I had a bunch of phone calls yesterday with friends and family, which always feels good.  I'm grateful for my network.  My gratitude journal has become a comforting habit right before bedtime, giving me perspective.  It eases me to not tell "story" and keep my life as multifaceted as it truly is.  All these lovely beings in my life are treasures.  To keep attached requires empathy and pain, but it's worth it, and it is what being alive is all about.

Old Age Day by Day August 27, 2013

I had a nice time taking my friend for her first outing after surgery.  She wanted to see the film "Blue Jasmine", so I picked her up and we really enjoyed it.  As usual with Woody Allen, the acting is what is watchable, not the story.  Cate Blanchet is pretty much the whole enchilada, and she is amazing.  Sally Hawkins is great as well, but there is a condecension in Allen towards females that is always present, and I never like it.  But Blanchet is a complete character, even if somewhat ridiculed by the plot and writing.  Her fate is harrowing, especially because of her and her sister's background, though that may have been a cheap touch.  She may very well get the Oscar this year.

Our dogs were horrible last night, as a result we got no sleep and it's going to be a bumpy ride today, as Margo Channing would say.

Old Age Day by Day August 26, 2013

It seems to have softly rained last night.  Just a little bit, but enough to wet everything.  It's surprising, but then the whole weather pattern everywhere is unpredictable.  I'm just going to be grateful for any rain.  I feel our yard is looking pretty good, and the apples have stopped falling, so the dogs may enjoy good health for a while, until they figure out something new to get sick on.  I have errands to do and a two hour teeth cleaning, which I dread.  I'm going to do some errands, like finding a new Scrabble game, I'd just brought ours up to the cabin, as the old one there was falling apart.  Ironic, as we may lose the cabin and everything in it.  Life is weird.

I'm also shopping for some school stuff for my granddaughter.  Fall is fast approaching and you can feel it in the air and the stores and magazines are all about Halloween and Thanksgiving already.  It's ridiculous.  But it does have an impact on our thinking.  They are very successful, sad to say.

Old Age Day by Day August 25, 2013

Our daughter called last night and the news was grim.  She's resolved, and I know she'll win this fight, but it's going to be a tough one.  My heart literally hurts.  I want to save her from this battle, and I cannot.  She is facing this alone, except for our love and prayers.

I went to meditation, and listened to a wise dharma talk.  I watch my fear grab hold of me then I embraced it like the old friend it is, and let it go. 

We had dear friends over last night for dinner, and their presence comforted us both, but somehow it exhausted me.  My anxiety wears me down.  I cooked Moroccan food, and it turned out well.  Fish tagine with couscous, and a bunch of chilled side dishes like carrots, beets, cucumbers, tomatoes with onions, navel oranges with black olives.  I adore that food.  The mediterrean diet rules!