It was hot yesterday. The air conditioning broke down in my husband's building, so he was sweltering. Even the elevator broke down. Everything has been undependable since the building was renovated. Kind of like cosmetic surgery. I loved the heat so much I planted new flowers in early afternoon and got myself overheated, and I didn't close the windows in the hottest part of the day. I've come to my senses and closed all the windows this morning. But it's great. Feels like summer, and NO JACKET OR SOCKS.
I grew up in the midwest and south, so I like a hot summer, even like the humidity. But of course, I'm no kid any more, so no running around at noontime with the sun in my face. I have to be sensible. I'm supposed to really take it easy being in the sun while I have this topical ointment treatment for the basal cell carcinoma. I was thinking earlier, that when I was fourteen I had over a dozen warts electrocuted on my left knee. At puberty I had a lot of weird growths and also some thyroid problems, and after menopause I'm having the same issues. These hormone fluctuations do run us around. I couldn't ignore the destiny of my chemistry if I tried.
When I was fourteen I wanted my legs to look cute and boys to like me. At least this time they can burn and cut and I don't care what the boys think. If they can get past the wrinkles, gray hair, spongy skin and apple shaped body, fine. I think my husband can, on his good days. But who really cares? When we're in our hormonal prime, we give our power over to others. I like my dried up, dessicated self that seeks to please itself, not anyone else. And I'm so much easier to please.
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