I haven't walked the dogs - it's raining - and it's so gloomy in my study that I turned on all the lights and put on a Magnetic Fields CD. They always cheer me up, but I don't know about the dogs; they seem unresponsive. After a long history of playing classical music when I leave them, they do not seem to have developed any musical discrimination whatsoever. Mozart or Joni Mitchell, it's all the same to them. I have a busy day, and it's interesting to notice how I get irritated when I can't do my schedule exactly as planned. I can't walk the dogs at 8:30 am today, so it will have to be much later, as I am sewing with a friend at her house at 9:30. Changes. Even the little ones disturb, and yet, my life is made up of changes, mostly small adjustments unnoticable to others, book marked by huge shifts that get all the attention.
I'd like to say I've evolved to the point where gratitude comes up instantly as a counter to irritation, but it doesn't. I notice how petty my pathetic concerns are, and sometimes can laugh at myself, but a sudden nobility of nature has not overtaken my boring, basic patterns as of yet.
Patience. Gratitude, when it comes is welcome. Humor saves the day. And then the rain and the change of schedule - piece of cake! I'm reminded of the signs seen frequently in India - DEVIATION AHEAD. I'm on that road, but I can still enjoy the view, and my common humanity with others on a path, but with hairline detours that the mind makes, before she continues on down the road.
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