Getting older creates the obvious losses like illness and death of friends. But another sadness for me is the retirement move thing. We've had dear friends move away to retirement destinations, and sometimes it feels like we are the only ones still around. There is a tipping point, I'm sure, but right now we're not at it. Still, having to drive many hours to visit, or fly across country or even just the arranging it takes to have dinner together is a blow. Things change. And this is another reminder, but I have to wonder how much place matters. However, collecting all these scattered friends in one location would be impossible, and moving to where any of them are living exiles us from others. My best friend is two states away, my best friend here is moving perhaps only a city or two away, but farther from me than before. What happens when we can't drive any more? My childhood best friend is flying out this month to see me after a zillion years. She lived in the middle of the country for the past forty years, but now she's on the other coast. Actually, it probably will be cheaper to fly to New York that where she was before. But it's a long haul.
Right now the anchor for me is probably that 3 of my 4 kids live here. I seldom see them, but I feel the connection and am comforted by it. But my other kid and the grandkid are two states away, and I miss birthdays, holidays, being there to help out when she's sick. My field is huge. It takes a lot of energy to maintain it, and my resources are not what they were. This struggle is one I share with other friends my age, and there is no answer. There is only coping and remaining fresh to what is up right now, and how to carefully care for myself and all my dear ones. One day at a time.
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