Have you ever just felt off, for no reason and acted like an insensitive clod? I did last night, and said and and did things I wish I hadn't. I was unawake to my interactions. We were with the kids, and it doesn't happen that often, and I just feel, in retrospect, that I said and did the wrong thing, and was untuned to them. I'm not sure why. I felt so happy meeting them all, and then I didn't act it. Our daughter had been so sweet to pick us up, and then I made a couple of dumb jokes that were not sensitive to her, then I let her walk to her car and didn't offer her my umbrella. I didn't pick up on our older son's needing some help about dropping off wine at our friend's house, and had not brought my phone so I could call her. It turned out they were home, but we could see no lights. So we had to lug the wine boxes up our stairs. My husband made the kids pay for their meals, and I feel they'd helped us and we should have paid. Maybe the rain shut down my brain.
All I can do now is apologize, and try to be more aware next time. I feel I'm losing my social skills, because so often I'm not with other people. My antennae are broken.
Today I see my granddaughter and we are going to a garden nursery we both like to visit. I hope my mind and heart open back up and stay awake. The rain is helping the plants, but so far, it has put me to sleep!
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