Our younger daughter had her new IPhone stolen Saturday night. They were slick about it. They took it out of her purse which she was wearing. She was upset naturally. It feels like a violation. I wasn't much help, as I was weeping when I came back from meditation. I couldn't stop crying. The same thing happened on Friday. Either I have some hormonal shift or I'm going through some emotional changes. I know I feel like I want to DO SOMETHING. I just don't yet know what. I am going to volunteer at the Buddhist temple. I maybe need to go up to the cabin. Get away. I'm working through something. It could be old sadness just resurfacing. I'll know in time. But it was a strange sensation not to be able to control the weeping. I could have filled a lake with my tears.
One of the things that is happening with me is I'm feeling the feelings instead of trying to control them. I'm hanging in with the storm. After all, sadness doesn't wash me away, it just shakes me up a bit and then passes. Everything changes. I've always found that Buddhist principle comforting instead of terrifying. Fear passes, sadness passes, directionlessness passes. As do joy, laughter and contentment. We're moving, alive, throbbing, full of light and energy, until we don't. It's a blessing.
I called my best friend yesterday afternoon, and she had me laughing. She KNOWS what I'm talking about and struggling with, and she helps ground me. She is a blessing.
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