I'm waiting to talk to my daughter about her visit with her surgeon yesterday. It is so hard to be far away, feeling like I'm bugging her but needing to know what he said. Last night I felt strongly I would take this burden from her if I could, go through the surgery and treatment myself. She's too young and I don't want her to suffer. I am powerless. I know she's strong and brave and fierce. But I'd rather she was busy being giggly, silly, goofy and having fun. Hopefully, she'll have some of that too. And she has her new husband by her side supporting her. She also has many friends who love and support her.
There is an air of unreality, like this couldn't be happening. Probably for her as well. It is so sudden, so unexpected, and then your life changes. Surprise and change is the rule, but we block out that fact, even those of us practicing Buddhism daily. Change is the stuff of life, but we resist, because we don't like the unknown. But the unknown is just what is about to happen in the next moment. It is not inherently fearful. I know my daughter will come out on the other side of this treatment. I just wish she was already finished with it and on with her life.
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