It's been almost three weeks since my fall, and yesterday I was so sick of putting my foot up and wearing the boot and taking it easy. Part of my mind knew this was nothing in comparison to problems the human race undergoes, but nevertheless, I was disgusted with my options. Drive and screw up my foot? Walk and screw up my foot? Rot my brain and watch TV? Read? I'm sick of reading right now, very sick of reading. I've called and bothered everyone I can think of. I've knitted until my hands are aching. I've meditated. I've been STILL. I want to move.
Luckily, my daughter rescued me yesterday, by driving us to lunch and a movie. That got me out and away from the house. And I haven't really been shut in, to be fair. I've made myself go out every day and on Saturday I overdid it by driving to study group, then walking from the car to the cafe for lunch, then grocery shopping. The result was my foot throbbing and keeping me up a lot of the night. So I guess this means it's not healed yet. Duh!
I did figure out yesterday a couple of things that aggravated the foot. I had a sock on top of the ace bandage, and my pants were outside the boot, so my foot kept slipping in the boot. I switched to skinny jeans, which makes the boot tighter, and no sock. Tomorrow I see the podiatrist, so maybe he has tips. Patience, I know. It takes time to heal. Well, yesterday I was just plain out of it. Despite working for three years on that chapter in Shantideva's "The Bodhisatva's Way of Life". Despite the unreasonableness of my irritation, the lack of gratitude that the foot is such a minor injury, that friends and even my own daughter are undergoing REAL challenges in healing, treatment and recovery. The mind is a terribly selfish thing, and yes, yesterday I was wasting mine.
No comments:
Post a Comment