My retreat was wonderful, very peaceful, with just one other person and I sitting, walking, sharing the time keeper job and making meals together. Because of the lack of churning emotions that one feels during a silent retreat, we atuned ourselves to each other, and a lot of the intensity was missing. I could see my reactions very clearly, and I wasn't distracted by my usual empathy overload. The lack of dharma talks made me think for myself about the topic of expectations, and come up with what the idea meant to me. We did have hour long interviews with the teacher the last two days, so I was able to address some concerns and listen to some good, pragmatic advice. But basically, we were the teachers for ourselves, and, as our teacher often reminds us: Everything is our teacher. I learned some profound lessons from pruning a rose bush, and attempting water colors, and swimming in the pool. We did the tai chi practice Eight Pieces of Brocade morning and evening, and chanted the Discourse on Lovingkindness or the Sharing of Blessings before we retired at night.
So now I am back in the "real world", and I see that there are tragedies across the globe, from Norway to Somalia, and perhaps here, if our representatives cannot find a compromise plan for the debt. I wish all beings could experience what I was privileged to experience, and try to make kindness and generosity part of their everyday lives. I can only pray for them to see the world as interchangeable and interdependent, and not let their lesser selves rule. But they are caught up in this wheel of life, seeing nothing as it really is, and they suffer so because of it.
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