I read an article in the newspaper this morning about styles of relationships: anxious, avoidant or secure. Then I asked my husband to read it. He decided he was anxious, and I thought I was avoidant, but then he announced we both must be secure, because we have been married almost 38 years. We'd just watched the movie "The Last Station" about Sofia and Leo Tolstoy's stormy marriage (48years), and were disgusted about ways the movie simplified the complicated relationship they had. I think maybe you enter a relationship with a certain style from growing up or experiences, and then you either make yourselves secure, play out old scripts or part and look for a new person. But looking for the new person only works if you've figured out why you react the way you do, and come to terms with who you are. So I would never buy this book, because it's like the diets where you don't have to stop eating candy or exercise - it promises a shortcut when pretty much everything in life is hard work, but especially relationships.
The second article I read was about marketing cosmetics to preteens. Walmart and Target are on top of this, you'll be happy to know. So your seven year old can now learn her makeup skills and paint her face with the best of them. And the pressure, peer pressure and parental pressure in some cases, can begin earlier to be perfect, and sexy, and princessy. Evidently, not enough people have read "Cinderella ate my Daughter" or don't care enough to boycott this manipulating of very young girls into valuing themselves solely by their looks. These moms are sucked in by our culture of surface, and they are happy to share their obsession with their daughters. Sigh.
I guess I need to stop reading the newspaper.
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