Our family is in the throes this week of shock at a second divorce. So now both our married kids are divorcing, and we've gone down two family members. There is a lot of weeping and sadness, and though I know all this will pass, and maybe will be for the best, it feels like rejection and loss. We're trying to support our son, and he is living with us for a time, until he gets his life sorted out, but I feel a sense of failure, like we've been terrible parents. I know that's taking things too personally, and I can't protect my kids, but boy do the feelings come up. I think of all our efforts and generousity, and feel resentment. So all these nasty, petty feelings surface, when neither divorce is about that or me. I'll rise above it, but right now I'm shaken, as is my husband. I feel grateful they have no children, and confident they will both find new partners and happier lives, but right now it's being a witness to suffering, and staying steady is hard.
The intense rain doesn't help the mood much around here, but we're having the plumber come out, and going to the grocery store and doing the ordinary tasks that are comforting at times like these. I'm thankful for everyone's health and have faith in the kids' strength and love of life. You're either in this life, or dreaming through it, and I'd rather be awake and experience ALL of it.
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