A couple of days ago a dear friend and I were on a walk together and her hip began hurting badly. I walked home and got the car and picked her up. Now she is at her daughter's, with pain meds and a walker and cane. She's extremely good natured about it, but remarked that she is on a new adventure, and her days of blithely walking for miles might be over, at least for a while. She's a few years older than me, and I got a partly selfish chill when she said that. One day we are feeling fine, the next the joints or knees or fairly crucial equipment fail us and we must adjust. Our freedom is circumscribed by this new state of being. One has to be strong and valiant to grow old. You can see it as a series of disappointments or opportunities. My friend has her practice, and she will do well with these new challenges. But how would I do, how will I do? I feel bad for my friend too because her brother is dying, and she was set to go out when he called. Will she be able to? Is the body's collapse related to letting go of her only sibling? How are these things connected?
It's all mysterious. Today I insisted on walking the dogs. I appreciated being able to. I vowed to take better care of myself. But what is coming? Am I prepared? I don't know.
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