Old Age Day by Day April 14, 2010

I have two doctor appointments today. Blauggggh! First to find out what to do about my bone density, the second an eye checkup for my degenerative eye disease. As my GP says, welcome to old age. I had a phone conversation with my health care provider, and it was useless. She seemed mighty uncomfortable, and the materials she sent I could have mailed her. I know about eating healthy and food groups etc. I eat healthy. But I have medications that slug me out, and a thyroid that now is acting lazy. I said to her, "Does this mean to lose weight I need to eat only twice a day?" No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. I AM going to have to do some crazy diet to lose weight, and whenever I need to return to real life it will come right back. I can see the humor in it all most of the time. But when I feel guilty I get mad. I eat no sugar, no fried food, have lots of fiber and multigrains. I've decided a pear is the perfect dessert, and I have sparkling water instead of beer, and low fat string cheese instead of brie. Surely, no other sacrifices should be necessary?

I guess I can assume if I actually overate I'd weigh the equivalent of a small elephant, and that is supposed to comfort me. I feel like a lot of women my age: we're on the battlefield without the right weapons or a coherent battle plan. Is it too much to ask for a little help? I've read Dr. Oz, but Oprah eats with him, and she still can't lick this problem. She even has a cook to make her tasty nibbles on silver platters that have no fat, no calories, no salt.

Last time I was in the doctor's office, as I stepped on the scale, I said to the nurse, "I'd rather be shot dead". I know, she said, with big sad eyes. She's my age and weight. Knowledge is not always power. Sometimes it is a stick to beat us with. I have to remember I'm doing the best I can, my intentions are good, and my body just likes resting. It's had a long and arduous life, and it's not about to burn calories without a fight.