I am in a better mood today, despite spending and hour and a half getting a temporary crown put in my mouth at the dentist's. I noticed, as I was immobilized and my mouth stretched to the size of a basketball, that the mind has to do a lot of calming itself down to get through the gagging reflexes and the goo in the back of the throat and the urge to bite the dentist's hand. At one point, he lost a big blob of cotton and asked if I'd swallowed it. He never found it, but I figured if I got it down it would come out. I know this from having seen one of my dogs poop up five whole socks in one memorable weekend. I was just glad the dentist didn't lose a drill or something more horrific.
But what I was noticing mostly is that I trusted him, and I could relax my hands when they clenched, and keep my bite firm when necessary and take deeper breaths when the thought crossed my mind that I could not breathe. I could cooperate, follow instructions, and appreciate that this was a difficult process. It's not fun. It's not easy. But it occurred to me it might be good practice for even more unpleasant procedures, and for pulling up inner resources when challenging situations arise. I've got my breathing, my breath, and my mind, which can sort through instincts and choose, wow, choose, to cooperate with the dentist so my health will be better.
I've been cooperating with my doctor in that way as well. Choosing what makes sense, instead of staying away out of fear. I don't usually give myself any credit for any of this ordinary stuff, but today, today I feel I done good.
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