Well, it's the big day that I don't celebrate. I did give something to my granddaughters, but otherwise, I'm a little too old and stubborn at this point to be manipulated by Hallmark. My dear husband brought me flowers yesterday, and a card, but we will not be dining and dancing by moonlight, or doing anything "special". After 36 years together, just being alive is special, and we have no need to get away, since there are no kids in the house. Well, we could get away from the two dogs,I guess, but I don't feel the urge. The most romantic things I've done have been spontaneous and usually more like the amazing talks we've had or the compromises we've made just to make the other happy. None of these events have happened to fall on Valentine's Day - the pressure is too much.
You must understand, my husband and I met and married when I already had two toddlers from a previous marriage, so even the day we married, we drove right back home with the kids because we were afraid they'd be too traumatized if we left them overnight. Instead we drove his father and sister around to see some of the area on our way back, and the next day he went to work and I drove his father and sister to the airport. I didn't care. We were making our long life together, and this was just one day or one week in it.
What is romance? Is it lingerie and chocolates? Fine. Been there and done that. If you tried to put me in a thong now, I'd probably have cardiac arrest. And so would my husband when he saw me. Chocolates? Well, they'd have to be sugar free in my case, and the sugar free kind have the effect of ExLax. Not too romantic. Champagne? I like it, but we could go down to the basement and dig out a bottle and have it while we watched Day After Tomorrow. It's not that special. The hot tub, the mud baths. We've done that, too. Romantic now for me is sticking out this roller coaster of a thing called marriage, when one minute I want to kill him and the next hug, and we are constantly having to work, work HARD, on this relationship, and we've carved out our spaces, set our boundaries, forgiven enough mistakes for an ocean of tears, and still, we treat each other with respect 99% of the time. It's a damn miracle. And that's my idea of romantic. So there!
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