aging day by day February 19, 2010

You know, being technologically challenged, as I and so many of my friends are, does have it's advantages. We're so ancient we have land lines as well as cell phones, and now that they've determined the phones pressed against the ear are disintegrating brain cells right, left and center, we may end up very wrinkled but able to rule the world by superior brain strength. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll do any better than the current crop, some of which are geezers themselves, but probably feel forced to use cell phones to look cool and hip. Cell phones have lots of wonderful uses, but some advertised advantages, let's face it, have not proven to be true. If you try to use your cell phone during crises like earthquakes and floods, the whole system goes down and you can't get a dial tone. Try 911 from a cell phone and prepare to die. Lost in the woods? The battery will be dead. Need a number? The cell won't work and you can't even access the numbers if you're standing next to a regular phone. Better hope information is up and running, ha, ha, ha, that the number is listed, and remember, phone books are nowhere to be found. Telephone booths looking pretty good right about now?

Then there is the fact that if the decline in brain cells doesn't do you in, an SUV driver screaming and gesturing will crush you like a bug. Yeah, I know, it's against the law in my state too, and every erratic action I see on my forays out into the world of jungle madness is a person texting or talking. What happened to the good old days when it was alcohol or drug abuse? This is way more terrifying. Pedestrian deaths are way up in my area, and we've all seen some driving that reminds me of the saying "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down". They just hit everything in their path.

Then there is this idiotic caller ID. That lasted a long time. Everyone who calls me now is a PRIVATE CALLER. It reminds of of the song by Tina Turner, but I don't think it's her. And call waiting doesn't work half the time, and, well, I could go on. So I will continue to have my cell phone off 90% of the time, though it drives my kids crazy, and use that thing connected by a wire to that box thing. It works. All the time. And remember, I'm holding on to all my brain cells as long as I can. They have to compensate for the hearing loss, aches and pains, and crumbling of the infrastructure.