I need a cook! I have made every meal, meal after meal for tooooo long. There are no kind of salads left to make. My friend tried to suggest some good ones, but I'd made them all, repeatedly. Deja vu vu. I want to eat healthily. I know about processed foods and eating out, and have read all Michael Pollan's books religiously. But no matter how many times I see Julie and Julia the enthusiasm for cooking has not been transmitted to me. Besides, French cooking's secret is all about adding a pound of butter in anything you cook, and that would seal my arteries right up and cause an explosion. I married a man who could not cook, and due to a tidalwave of hormones coursing through my body, I didn't quite realize how difficult it would be. I tried to teach him to cook, but it didn't take. And now, if I don't want to make dinner myself it is either eating out or eating one of the three things he cooks: grilled cheese sandwich with Campbell's chicken noodle soup, bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich with chips, or pancakes. It's unappetizing and severely limiting.
And if we go out, I have to avoid fries, hamburgers, desserts, too much wine. It's a minefield out there, folks. I just want Oprah's cook to make me light, delicious meals that improve my heart, give me vim and vigor and make me so full I don't want those bad, bad foods. Little quesadillas that have no calories, cakes with no sugar or fat, sparkly drinks with no calories but loads of alcohol. Is that asking too much? Don't I deserve a reward after preparing millions of meals, most of which used to be good, before I balked. I USED TO bake bread, make my own pastry, whip up a great chocolate mousse, do Chicken Kiev. Of course, my younger children have no memory of this, but if pressed, the older two can confirm what I say. I was never a cake baker. I made them, but the top layer often slipped off the bottom layer, or the cake cracked in the middle and had to be filled with triple the icing. Thank goodness for bundt cakes. I loved it when they became fashionable. I could just slop something in the center and didn't need to frost. Cakes with holes in them were invented for me. I kid you not.
But now, each week, we have baked sweet potatoes and fish, chicken and veggies, curry, salad nicoise, and round things out with delivered pizza, crispy chicken tacos from the local taqueria, and middle eastern mediterranean plate. We're so predictable, I won't be surprised if the pizza guy delivers without us ordering. I love to eat, but it's become such a CHORE. I may have to go back to what I do under stress - just eat tuna sandwiches day after day until my mercury level hospitalizes me. At this point, that institutional food is looking mighty good.
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