Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Old Age Day by Day March 24, 2010

There was an article in the paper this morning about how older women need to exercise an hour a day because it's hard to lose weight when you're our age. Hello!? For whom is this supposed to be news? Not me and my whiny friends, who have been aware of this phenomenon for quite some time. Basically, you need to run behind a Nascar and eat one quarter cup of food per day, but don't drink anything with calories in it or the weight loss won't happen.

Why is it that science lags behind common knowledge every single time. If the scientists would just ask some real people, they would save a great deal of grant money for other purposes, like eradicating cancer. It's also true that mixing six drugs is not beneficial to your health, even if each and every one of them addresses a health problem, and that lying on the couch watching TV is bad for the brain. Unless you can earn a living reciting commercial jingles. And so few of us can. Also, stuffing rats with cosmetics is detrimental to their health, as is having rats in a lab without doing anything to them. My husband, who is a scientist, but wisely sticks to microscopic critters, once liberated all the frogs about to be dissected in his high school lab. He is usually found torturing something like wheat or corn, which I can live with.

I need to revamp my house so that all the floors are a treadmill and the plates and cups weight five pounds each, and the refrigerator is locked and only can be opened by voice recognition or thumbprint (but not mine). However, there would still be restaurants, and even getting rid of the car wouldn't help, because there are enough places to eat within (easy, not calorie burning) walking distance.

You know what that means - WILLPOWER. The dreaded W word (I don't mean the retired guy in Texas). I think I'll just have to continue losing a pound a year, and upping the fiber - my new snacks will be bamboo and small pebbles, dipped in spray-on chocolate. I'll get slim and fit, just you wait and see. Actually, better not, this could take a really long time.

No comments:

Post a Comment