Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Old Age Day by Day January 11, 2012

I resigned from my chorus yesterday.  I just knew it was time; that the fun I had was waning, and I wanted to move on.  I won't say I had nothing more to learn, because that would not be true, but the tipping point had been reached and passed last fall.  I'll always sing, but maybe not with a group.  New opportunities often open up when you let go and relax.  That is what I'm going to do.  I have a lot of other plans for this spring, and having a responsibility to the chorus does make traveling difficult.  Anyway, by the time I'd talked to my teacher yesterday, I was sanguine and no ambivalence arose.  So I'll see what the future brings musically.  And as I said to my teacher, I have all these songs I know and love in my bag of tricks now.

I'm itching to write poetry, and I'm going to try for one draft a day.  I began as a poet, then my best friend killed herself, and I felt compelled to write her story.  I'm a strong prose writer, but my first love was poetry, from the time I was a kid, and I'd like to go back to it now.

My husband and I saw the movie "War Horse" yesterday.  I sobbed so much I had to force myself to stay in the chair to watch.  It brings tears to my eyes now to think of it.  It was a very disturbing film, on the order of "Gallipoli" or "Saving Private Ryan".  Speilberg is good at forcing us to face ugly facts.  Though I admire many of his films, I never want to see "Schndler's List", "Munich" or many other worthy films.  Once is enough to sear it in my brain.  The cinematography was gorgeous, but I can't even tell if the movie was good or awful.  I just know it was upsetting.  But I have such a connection to horses, I may be too vulnerable to assess this film.  I found watching it almost unbearable.

Luckily, I'm having lunch with a friend today, so I can lighten up.  And no horse talk.

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