In an hour a friend is stopping by on her way to a meditation retreat. She lives a state away, and is caring for her husband and he struggles with cancer. There is so little we can do for her, but we are witnesses to their courage, fortitude and positive attitude. What I admire most is how they each take care of themselves within this difficult situation. They honor themselves, and don't sacrifice so much that they forget to be generous with themselves. They are who they are, and have not been defined by this illness that is relentless. I appreciate what they have in the midst of this surprising blow. I would hope to do so well.
So it makes me happy she is going on this retreat, and her husband's brother is at the house caring for her husband. She can accept help and trust. She is open and transparent. My Buddhist teacher says to ask yourself: "Does what I'm about to do include taking care of myself or instead of taking care of myself?" It's a good guideline for generousity - be generous to yourself as well. Otherwise, the sacrifice can end up stirring up anger and resentment. The intention should always be to balance, remain stable, and therefore have the inner resources you need to take action with whatever life presents to you.
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